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Illinois | Wellness > Mental Health

How to Protect Your Peace

Autumn Bunzell Student Contributor, University of Illinois - Urbana-Champaign
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

New Year’s brings along resolutions and self-promises to make our lives better. While our resolutions might not involve reducing the negativity in our lives, our resolutions certainly should. Before we begin, let me preface that it’s impossible to excise every conflict and negative aspect in our daily lives. After all, we’re only human. We’re going to face challenges and setbacks. This isn’t the type of negativity that I’m talking about. I’m referring to the toxicity and drama that can only come from one source: people.

Thus far, this article seems to take a pessimistic perspective, but it is not pessimism, but the perspective that we deserve better for ourselves. Call it self-preservation. Call it self-respect. Use whatever term that you want. But, the bottom line is that we, as women, need to protect our peace a little bit more. This can come in the form of cutting off your toxic situationship or from reducing your time spent with a selfish friend. Whoever you’re protecting your peace of mind from, I advise you to consult the how-to guide below.

The deciding factor

I cannot be the one to draw the line and decide when someone has pushed you too far. That is completely up to you. You have to decide that for yourself. It’s different for every person. What makes me “tick” might not be the same for you. Despite every person being different, I advise referring to the following list to decide if a person/people aren’t worth the effort anymore.

  • How do they make you feel?
  • Is your relationship a two-way street?
  • Can you tell them just about anything?
  • Do you feel accepted by them?

the limit

Protecting your peace doesn’t always equate to cutting a person out completely. Perhaps, it’s a person that you cannot completely stop seeing. Side note: this is not a go-ahead to keep seeing your situationship that treats you like garbage. I’m referring to the occasional acquaintance or the family member that you have to see a few times a year. If this is the case, try to limit, if at all possible, the time that you spend with them. 

maintaining your self-set boundaries

It’s important that you leave the toxic relationships in the past, honey. You don’t need to be dragging negativity into the new year when you’re trying to be the best version of yourself. Leave the people who don’t appreciate you for who you are. You deserve to be treated like a queen, so, obviously, you shouldn’t tolerate anything less than royal treatment.

finding peace in yourself and others

Again, this article is not anti-relationships. It’s a nudge in the right direction. The direction where you are treated like you’ve always wanted to be treated. By your family, you deserve to be loved unconditionally. From your friends, you deserve to be supported and continually lifted up. In your romantic relationships, you deserve the type of love that you read novels about. From yourself, you deserve the utmost self-respect and self-love. You deserve the entire world, and don’t you forget that. 

Call me pessimistic. Call me romantic. But, don’t, for one second, call me wrong.

Autumn Bunzell

Illinois '27

Hi there! My name is Autumn Rose, and I'm from Utica, Illinois. I live minutes away from Starved Rock State Park. I attended LaSalle-Peru Township High School which consists of only about 1,200 students. Within my family, I'm the youngest in a close-knit household, and I have an older sister who I absolutely adore. As well, I have a golden retriever and a grey tabby cat.

Currently, I'm a first-year neuroscience student at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign. Both the physical and psychological aspects of the human brain fascinate me. In addition, I'm interested in nutrition and how this field can be applied to neuroscience. There is a field labeled nutritional neuroscience that studies how the consumption of food, minerals, and supplements impacts an individual's cognition, mood, and overall brain health.

Outside of the classroom, my hobbies vary tremendously. Music wise, I listen to Bryce Vine and Bazzi, but I also love Etta Mae, Arethra Franklin, and Frank Sinatra. As I do my morning routine, I listen to health and wellness podcasts on Spotify. In between classes, I do yoga and Pilates. At night, I love to do some skincare, and then crawl into bed with one of my books. Typically, I partake in crocheting and baking in the colder months. As a side note, my favorite season is fall because of the cool weather and all of the pumpkin/apple candles, foods, coffees, etc.