*Spoilers Ahead*
This week’s episode of The Bachelor may have only been an hour long, but there’s still plenty of buzz in the air for Bachelor fans — and that includes sex, an ex and a breakup (not in that particular order, thankfully).
Last week’s Bachelor cliffhanger left us with ex Andi Dorfman popping up unexpectedly at a weary Nick’s doorstep just before he cut his final four down to three. The heavily teased return was nowhere near as *dramatic* as it was hyped to be. That being said, it was delightfully uncomfortable, which always makes for quality television.
First, Nick temporarily shocks Andi by saying he might end up dumping 30 women — he’s not going to get engaged just because he’s The Bachelor. It’s as if you can see her thinking, “I could’ve done that and avoided Josh altogether?” (Yeah, Andi, you could’ve). But on the upside, he implies a ring in the future.
Now, to the awkward stuff. It’s time for Nick to embark upon the fantasy suite dates, and Andi wants to know if Nick is going to have sex with all three women (duh). Her advice? They are two consenting adults, and Andi thinks Nick is “entitled to do whatever you want” (duh again).
At this point, Nick needs to focus on apologizing to the women currently freezing to death as they wait for him. So, with cars honking in the background — welcome to New York — Nick gets to the rose ceremony.
Corinne showed up looking extra AF in an ombré shag coat and double thigh slit dress (I’ve got a feeling Racquel forgot to pack her hand warmers) but then — Team Corn, you might want to sit down for this one — our beloved cheesy pasta-eating reality villain extraordinaire was eliminated. That’s right; he better pay her back the $3000 she paid for in the previous episode. Anyways, now we have to watch another week of Rachel thinking she has a chance all while knowing it doesn’t work out.
Because nothing makes you want to watch a love story like a zero percent chance of survival.
As Nick walks Corinne out, she doesn’t clutch her breasts and tell him he’s making a big mistake. She doesn’t even ask if it was because she has a nanny. Instead, she tearfully apologizes if she did anything to upset Nick, which quite frankly, is the only time we see her show some real emotion throughout the season.
Nick assured Corinne he harbors a lot of love for her and was going to miss the hell out of her. Honestly, same. Then they said goodbye and Corinne went on what can only be described as one of the most determined, self-empowering limo exit rants in Bachelor history. Can you guess what she did next?
She fell asleep. This woman is a national gem.
Fast forward to after the rose ceremony where Nick and the final three were off to their final destination: Lapland, Finland, where Nick took Raven on the very first overnight date of the season.
The two spent the day flying over the visually aesthetic landscape in a helicopter and playing darts in an adorable Finnish pub. Raven admitted she was feeling pretty nervous about the Fantasy Suite that night, and Nick reassured her that he didn’t have any “expectations.”
Later that night, Raven decided it was time to tell Nick how she really felt. As she breaks into what might be the most sincere love confession Bachelor Nation has ever seen, she explained that her last boyfriend only told her he loved her under the influence of alcohol. It took her a while (and quite a few gulps of wine) but she finally got around to telling Nick she had fallen in love with him — the first time she’s ever dropped the L-word with any man. Nick didn’t say it back, but he did call it “one of the best professions of love” he’s ever heard. Then Nick offered Raven the Fantasy Suite key, asking her to spend the night with him.
But before they spend the night together in the Fantasy Suite, Raven reminds Nick of two things: (1) She’s only ever been with one person; and (2) her last boyfriend never made her orgasm. No pressure, Nick.
And considering she’s only ever slept with one person, everyone in Hoxie, Arkansas, now knows which local should come with a money-back guarantee.
Fingers crossed for Raven, Bachelor Nation. She deserves it. It seems highly unlikely that Vanessa and Rachel will be able to top this week, but only time will tell.
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Image Sources (respective order):
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