Costumes & Consent

*The following article is a work of satire*

It’s officially the best time of the year: spooky season. The time to eat as much candy corn as your system can handle, watch crappy horror movies in your pajamas, and of course go to costume parties. 

They’re the best part of the season, an opportunity to pretend to be something you’re not, like a vampire or mentally stable. Of course, there’s always the people who view Halloween as an opportunity to wear a provocative and revealing costume. So, picture this: you’re at a party and see someone you’re really attracted to who’s wearing a costume that seems like they’re just begging for you to touch them. So, you do. 

Because that’s totally okay, right? They’ve given you no signals that they want to be touched, heck, you haven’t even talked to them before. But they look good, extremely good. So that totally means you can touch them without their consent. 

I mean, come on, someone wearing a costume like that? They’re asking for it, just walking around in a revealing costume and minding their own business. They’re not screaming for strangers to touch them and actually get really offended when you do, but they still want it, you can just tell by the way they’re dressed. 

Girls just use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in lingerie and get drunk. I mean, that’s not even a real costume, it’s just adding a pair of animal ears to the most revealing thing you own and pretending you’re inventive. I mean, how rude of them to wear whatever they want and not care what people think. 

If they didn’t want to be touched, they would pick something else to wear, right? There are totally lots of budget-friendly costumes sold for women that aren’t sets of mini-skirts and bras. It’s definitely possible to walk into your local store and find a costume that’s cute and conservative at the same time.  

Drinking makes them even easier targets, too. Because don’t you know, someone drinking to enjoy themselves at a party means they should definitely be touched without their permission. And if they’re blacked out? Why wouldn’t you want to take advantage of someone who doesn’t even know who they are and might need medical attention?  

For the oblivious, everything I just said is all satirical. Affirmative, enthusiastic consent is always necessary. What someone wears does not determine their worth, and is definitely not an invitation to touch them. Always get consent before you get intimate with someone, no matter what the season is. You can dress up like a monster this Halloweekend, but don’t act like one.  

• consent
• costumes
• halloween
• mean girls
• satire
• spooky