I will never forget the day that I was rejected from my dream college: it was December 17, 2022, and my high school was having a pep rally to celebrate the last day of school before winter break. As 18-year-old Grace descended the bleachers to leave, I got the fateful email that I was rejected from my dream school in California.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had spent three years planning and prepping my application to be absolutely perfect for this school. In my mind, I was the perfect applicant: good grades, involved with my community, volunteer hours, National Honor Society, varsity athlete. I was convinced I had it in the bag – until I didn’t. I spent that entire weekend sobbing my eyes out and vowing to do everything I could to change their minds (I was very melodramatic at 18 years old). I was clearly in denial, but after the stages of grief had turned from bargaining to acceptance and my eyes were finally dry, I could see what was in front of me the whole time: opportunities.
Once I finally understood that this was not the end of my college search, I looked at one school in particular: Ithaca College.
I had never even heard of this little college in upstate New York before googling “Top Film Schools on the East Coast.” I hadn’t ever even been to the East Coast before! I just knew there was something out there that was calling me. After that initial Google search, early into my college application process, I made a fateful decision that forever shaped my future.
After reconsidering my options and looking into Ithaca College further, I became deeply interested in this institution. But it wasn’t a school I knew anything about, and if I went there, I knew I wouldn’t know anyone. And I won’t lie, that scared me.
After committing to Ithaca College in February 2023, finding my place in college was a thought that loomed over me during the preparation for school; and, as other potential students follow in my footsteps, I know they probably feel the same.
While the fear of not finding your “place” in college is not a unique experience to me, finding that space for you to feel most confident in yourself may come in many different forms, whether it be a group of friends, a club, organization, workplace environment, or affinity group.
There are a variety of ways to connect with those in your campus community before arriving on campus, as well as once you are in the full swing of the semester. As much as I wish I had a step-by-step guide to making friends and getting involved, each person is different and may find peace and joy in a multitude of interests. So, instead of telling you all the ways that I connected with the Ithaca College community, I will provide you with a few examples of avenues I thought would be helpful tips and tricks:
Tips and Tricks to Finding Community in Your Future College
1. Don’t Be Shy – Reach Out!
In the months leading up to your arrival on campus, connect with your future peers. Most colleges, like Ithaca, create Instagram accounts for incoming freshmen to introduce themselves and interact. This is a great way to meet future friends or even find a roommate if you don’t want to go with a random selection.
Social media is a great resource for new students to reach out to organizations, clubs, current students, and more. Don’t be afraid to send an introductory DM if you notice that you have something in common with someone, or even reach out to that club sports team you think you might be a great fit for! The possibilities are endless; if it helps ease your transition, don’t hesitate to reach out.
2. The Triad Rule of Student Engagement
As a freshman, I struggled at first to find academically-driven organizations where I felt I would belong. Or should I say: I was nervous to put myself out there. Once you find the confidence to pursue your creative, academic, or personal passions like me (or you are a superstar and come into school knowing exactly what you want), there was a small trick I learned to find a few organizations that will fulfill every aspect of your interests: The Triad Rule of Student Engagement.
The Triad Rule of Student Engagement consists of three major components: one career- or academically-driven organization or commitment, one personal passion-based organization or club, and one hobby or club that challenges you to step outside your comfort zone. In simpler terms, the Triad Rule is career, personal passion, and fun.
This approach is a simple, non-restrictive guideline for managing your out-of-class activities, ensuring you don’t over-commit yourself while still leaving room for inspiration. After introducing the Triad Rule into my own extracurriculars, I joined Ithaca College Television to support my career goals, became a part of the Cheerleading team to nurture my personal passion, and launched a podcast, HigherEDvice (we’re still on Spotify!), with my friends to challenge myself.
The trick to the Triad Rule is to not take it too seriously. Make sure to have fun in your student organizations and clubs, and interpret these guidelines however they best suit you. You may become a teacher’s assistant or an excellent rock-climber; anything is possible and college is a time to allow yourself the space to learn it all!
3. Remember Everyone is in the Same Boat
Committing to college and preparing to become a member of a new community is scary for everyone! If you feel slightly nervous to put yourself out there or find your place like I was, most people might feel the same way.
Something that helped me feel more at ease when approaching new people is that old saying, “They’re more afraid of you than you are of them”. While that phrase may sound silly or corny, it can apply in many circumstances. Most people are nervous at the start of a new semester, and even if they aren’t, if you approach someone with confidence, chances are they will follow suit. Remember that most people are in the same boat as you and probably are just as nervous, if not more!
Although I may never forget the day I was rejected by what I once thought was my dream school, I will also never forget the day I became an Ithaca College Bomber and was warmly welcomed onto campus. Sometimes, the universe gives us a sign that something isn’t meant to be, guiding us toward something even better, filled with greater possibilities. The day I was rejected from my dream college will always stand out as it was the day I was directed toward my future.
Finding your place in college is never easy, but anything is possible when you follow your heart toward what truly inspires you. As corny as it sounds, trust your gut; you will find your own corner of the universe that uplifts and drives you.