This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at IUP chapter.
As Jason Derulo’s “Talk Dirty” implies, talking dirty in the bedroom could be the key to turning good sex into a mind-boggling, animalistic good time. Yet, if you don’t know what to say it could just make the whole night into one awkward silence. But it can be even worse if you say the wrong thing! Ladies, avoid these 12 simple statements to make your sex session go “long and hard” instead of “limp and soft.”
- “Is it in, yet?” Try to avoid saying this at all costs. Some men are insecure or self-conscious about their size. Saying this could make them think you’re saying their size is too small to please you.
- “When are you going to finish?” This could make a man feel like they’re not pleasing you or your bored. Instead say something like, “I can’t wait for you to come.”
- “I have to pee!” Unless he’s into the water works, this will probably just ruin the mood or the moment. So, try and pee before you start or if you really have to go just say as low and sensual as you can, “I’ll be right back…” or something along those lines. If you say it sexy enough, it will get his imagination rolling until you come back.
- “My ex liked that” or “My ex did that.” Never bring up your ex when you’re about to have sex with someone else. It can make things awkward and kill the mood. If he’s a jealous boyfriend, then it’s an argument waiting to happen.
- “Do you mind if I Instagram this?” If the guy is into being photographed then fine but if not avoid asking this. Most people don’t want their photo taking during sex. Especially if it’s going to be posted for the whole word to see, even it’s a hot trend right now.
- “Yeah, yeah, oh Mike—Oh Sh*t! I mean David.” Never say the wrong name during sex—EVER. It may send the wrong signals to the guy you’re with now and will definitely be a boner killer. If you really can’t remember his name, just don’t say a name at all.
- “Did you finish, already?” If you’re with a one-night stand, saying this isn’t too bad but if you’re with a serious boyfriend or husband, saying this can really be a confidence killer. Some guys have bad days so they may not last as long as they normally do. It happens. If the situations occurs, say something like, “Ready to go again?” with a smile.
- “What’s that smell?” This one is self-explanatory for both ends. Just ignore it but if it’s that bad, suggest a sexy shower together with lots of soap.
- “Want to try Unicorning?” A unicorn has a huge horn and rams people. I don’t think your man wants you to ram him so just don’t bring this up at all. Unless, he’s into things like that.
- “Let’s get this over with.” Saying this just makes you seem like you’re not interested or just having sex as a chore. Just don’t say it, and if you’re really not in the mood, do your best to get there.
- “Are you hard, yet?” Don’t ask. If you don’t feel it, then it’s not. Saying it could make some guys more nervous and then that just makes the situation worse.
- “Would you like it if I touched your anus?” A man’s anus is just an off-limits topics. Don’t’ ask. Many guys don’t like talking about “anus” unless it’s yours but when it comes to theirs, just avoid the subject. Unless they bring it up, which is rare.
Communication is one of the keys to great sex. Talking, especially dirty, talk can add wonders to your sex life. Just watch what you say and it can be a night you’ll never forget. If all else fails, say everything in a husky wet tone, nothing sounds bad if it’s sexy enough.