Dear Guys who hurt us,
There have been way too many times that I did not feel good enough for guys. In high school, guys flirted with me, made it seem like they were interested in me, and then would back away saying they were just messing with me. They always passed me over for other women and I never knew why. I was never asked to school dances and eventually chose me over going to my last homecoming because I could not stand to go to another dance where I was going stag again. I do not regret that decision, saved some money, and had a very productive night allowing myself to become self-sufficient. I just realized that guys in my town were not used to intimidating women in their midst and laying down the law and they were terrified by them. Several times I asked guys to go to dances with me and they said no. They never gave a good reason or even one at all. I always saw these other girls being asked to dances but never me.They never asked the budding powerhouse women and these were the women who found amazing men who didn’t hesitate when they met them and asked them out when they went to their respectable colleges. No women should have to feel this way and we definitely do not deserve to be treated like this in any way.
I will never understand why these guys acted the way they did. People have said that women are more mature than men but that is not the case for every guy. Do these guys enjoy making women feel horrible about themselves and unwanted? This is something I will never know. It is true that some guys do get better after high school and become amazing men who turn into wonderful boyfriends but what about the ones that don’t. There are still so many guys in college who still treat women badly. Some women feel like they are magnets for these kinds of guys and do not know why. When did it become that gorgeous, intelligent and independent women were still having to deal with this ridiculous wishy washy behavior from guys? These are the women who men should be chasing with chivalry and gentleman manners to become their other half. It is still so frustrating that this is happening for so many women out there.
I look back on it and thank myself for not dating guys in high school. I was able to dedicate my time to developing my love for leadership, helping others, community service, developing great friends, showcasing my talents on Friday nights and on the stage, and not have to worry about guys wasting my time. I did have broken hearts from guys who seemed to think it was fun to do that and leaving them hanging on the school bus. I hope that the guys who have everything they could want in a woman and then go and cheat on her without feeling anything become better guys. These women do not deserve to feel second rate because the guys do know that they are downgrading with these girls that they are cheating on their girlfriends with. The guys who seem like they are good guys with great hearts and are very fun to talk to are the worst because sometimes it is also those guys who move on to another girl after not speaking to you for weeks and you honestly wonder what you did.
Flowers and coffee are not expensive and neither are dates to a reasonably priced restaurant. College women do not need fancy dates but they do love wholesome guys who do spontaneous things like leaving them a flower or buying coffee at sheetz and walking around the college town. It does not take a lot of money to have a girlfriend but a good honest heart.
This behavior showcased by boys throughout my high school years made me immune to any flirty gesture in my later years. Guys had to be super obvious in order for me to know that they were interested in me. I got hit on by a kind young man at a gas station and my friend had to tell me that he was hitting on me because I just assumed that if a guy was “flirting with me” he was just messing with me. Women should not have dismiss any friendly kind advances from a guy who is interested in having a relationship with them.
Never settle for less than you deserve!! You all are beautiful women inside and out and deserve to be treated like queen that walks the earth.
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