Whether you’re seated for every rally, or you’re desperately trying to escape the blunder of politics, this is for you. There is no denying that election season can be stressful; it feels like the negative outweighs the positives in this area. Seeing all of these serious topics associated with politics can make it scary, so let’s dive into the fun part instead! I have decided to rank every single president, SOLELY on their favorite food. Let’s dig in!
- Richard Nixon – Cottage Cheese w/ Ketchup
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EXCUSE ME?! IS THIS COMMON?! This concoction feels like if a 5-year-old tried making a snack. This is so beyond disgusting that I cannot even fathom why anyone would want to even TRY it. Watergate? More like wat-er you DOING TO YOUR TASTEBUDS?! Aren’t presidents rich? What is the meaning of this?
- Harry Truman – Well done steak
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If you order your steak well done, never talk to me. This is literally psychopath behavior; anyone who wants to chew their dry ass meat for 20 minutes per bite needs to be mentally evaluated. This comes to a close second as the most controversial thing he has done. CLOSE.
- James Garfield – Squirrel Soup
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I just know the Oak Grove squirrels never forgave us for this. I lowkey want to try it, but having this as your favorite meal is simply diabolical.
- William Henry Harrison – Squirrel Stew
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Um. We have lost the plot. These poor squirrels, I do not know how anyone could stomach eating this.
- Jimmy Carter – Grits
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As you are going to see further down, texture and consistency are big factors for me. This is Satans porridge. It fits the southern Carter (who just turned 100!), but I cannot bear the texture.
- Andrew Jackson – Leather Britches
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“Made with string beans and lard” should be your best indicator of what this dish is. It was named leather britches because the beans are completely dried up, giving it the appearance of scraps of cloth. I cannot even make a joke here, this dish seems extremely sad.
- Grover Cleveland – Pickled Herring
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For someone well-liked enough to be president twice, his preferences are on the contrary. Pickled anything is a huge nono for me, and when it comes to pickling fish, that just terribly churns my stomach. The pictures are never appetizing either. Yeesh.
- James Buchanan – Cabbage
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Well…okay?
- Millard Fillmore – Soup
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No. Too ambiguous. Soup haters unite!
- William Mckinley – Meat and fish
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Again, too ambiguous! What KIND? How is it COOKED? Too much has been left up to the imagination that I am going to assume the worst.
- Andrew Johnson – Hoppin John
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Created with peas, rice, vinegar, and bacon, this dish looks and sounds revolting. He should have been impeached for this instead.
- George W Bush – Cheeseburger pizza
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Hearing those words smashed together gives me violent flashbacks to when my school cafeteria did these. They are awful. It is exactly what you picture in your head.
- James Monroe – Spoonbread
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Spoonbread is moister cornbread. Disgusting, no thank you.
- Lyndon B Johnson – Chicken Fried steak with gravy
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Chicken fried steak feels like an absolute abomination. Made with beefsteak and deep-fried, this dish is the favorite of a successor, which feels right.
- Woodrow Wilson – Chicken Salad
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Salad is so yucky! If the soup was Ted Nugent, the salad is XXXTentacion; two completely different sides of the spectrum, yet I despise them both.
- James Polk – Cornbread
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Uhn Uh. This is a chore for me to eat. Cornbread cannot decide on sweet or savory, nor can it even decide it’s own consistency. These men are choosing the foulest of breads, why can’t we all enjoy something like banana bread?
- Benjamin Harrison – Corn
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This is an unpopular opinion, but I do NOT like corn or anything corn-related. Its kernels are (literally) indigestible, why would I put it in my mouth? It is so bland too. Even with butter. I am a hater of many foods, and corn is one of them.
- John Tyler – Indian Pudding
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What is up with presidents and their cornmeal? This pudding is made with exactly that, along with nutmeg, molasses, etc., and served with a scoop of ice cream. It sounds great, but in my experience, it disappointed. It is too dense and spicy for me, and just felt like a poorer version of banana pudding.
- Franklin Pierce – Fried Clams
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A terrible variation of clams for a terrible president. Half of the fun of eating clams is how you eat it! It is a very fun dish to order and play around with, but this version absolutely ruins the appeal.
- Ulysses S Grant – Rice Pudding
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I love the flavor of this dish, but the consistency and texture are too off-pudding (HA! Get it?)
- JFK – Clam Chowder
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I guess…clam chowder…blew his…mind……too soon? Someone restrict my pun usage.
- Donald Trump – McDonald’s
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Don’t we all? BOOOORINGGGGGGG.
- Warren G Harding – Chicken Pot Pie
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I’m assuming he needed comfort food to deal with the massive blowback of hiring all of his friends for his offices, as well as having a child out of wedlock, Dave Grohl style.
- Teddy Roosevelt – Steak and Gravy
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Steak with gravy is definitely a choice…although this is completely on par with the man who had a literal bear (his name was Jonathan Edwards) as a white house pet.
- George Washington – Hoecakes with honey
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OUR NUMBER ONE! I absolutely despise honey, but pancakes are always nice.
- Rutherford B Hayes – Cornmeal Pancakes
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Controversial, but I think the heaviness of the cornmeal accentuates the pancakes. I wonder if he knows that the same people he was oppressing were the ones responsible for his favorite dish…
- Martin Van Buren – Oysters
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Van Buren does not deserve a decadent favorite like these. Go kill some Native Americans, you’re worrying about the wrong fish in the sea.
- George HW Bush – Pork Rinds
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This sounds gross if you haven’t had these, but they come in a chip form that is not only so delicious but healthier than potato chips!
- Chester Arthur – Mutton Chops
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Mutton chops were Arthur’s whole schtick, with his facial hair also being called the same exact thing. I can respect the dedication.
- John Quincy Adams – Fruit
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Unfortunately, I don’t think the dopamine rush you get from eating healthy would have cured his depression, but it sure seems like he tried!
- Ronald Reagan – Jelly Beans
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I can no longer take him seriously (and I never did.) Trickle-down economics? Yum. Sounds like he loves his sweet treats!
- William Howard Taft – Steak and Potatoes
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Unfortunately, this man’s favorite food does not hold up to his reputation as the biggest back of the presidents. Steak and potatoes is a great simple meal, but I was expecting more from him!
- Dwight D Eisenhower – Million Dollar fudge
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This would totally be higher if I didn’t hate pecans. Packed with nuts, marshmallows, and chocolate, The First Lady’s (yes, he is NOT a fruit!) famous recipe still holds up to this day.
- John Adams – Hard Cider
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Whew! I guess it’s tough being the second president. Having an alcoholic drink as your favorite ‘”food” sure says a lot.
- James Madison – Vanilla ice cream
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Guys…can we not do better? Where is the flavor? I would not be surprised if this was the only conceivable flavor for his time though.
- Joe Biden – Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
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No cookie dough is insane, this is the second most boring ice cream flavor imaginable.
- Herbert Hoover – Sweet potatoes w/ marshmallows
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A great choice for a not-so-great president. But hey, at least you can stuff your face with the sweetest vegetable dish while watching the stock market crash!
- Gerald Ford – Pot Roast
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A pot roast for the pardoner! A pardon roast? A pot-doner? Regardless, slow-roasted meat is top-tier.
- FDR – Grilled cheese
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I can immediately picture him with a toasty grilled cheese by his side during the fireside chats. A comfort food for a comfortable chat.
- Bill Clinton – cheeseburgers
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Neutral food for a centrist guy. It fits. It would have been more accurate if he preyed on the burger first. Justice for Monica Lewinsky!
- Thomas Jefferson – Mac and Cheese
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Not only did he declare independence, he declared his love for mac & cheese. I do not play about a good mac and he does not either.
- Barack Obama – Nachos
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Probably our “coolest” president, Obama embraces the title with his favorite food being nachos. Nachos are just objectively cool.
- Abraham Lincoln- bacon
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For the bronze, a classic.
- Zachary Taylor – Calas
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This one surprised me, especially because I had to look up who this even was. Calas are like beignets, fried dough dusted in powdered sugar. Simply so delicious. Good on you, guy!
- Calvin Coolidge – Apple Pie
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Our winner! A perfect answer, truly for the American people. His beliefs surprisingly hold up today, with his support of women’s suffrage and the enactment of citizenship to all Native Americans. What a perfect guy to snag the gold.