Thanksgiving Side Dishes- Three That Smack and Three That are Whack

We all love Thanksgiving food. You can hate seeing your family, you can hate having to get dressed nicely, but we all love the food. Well, we all at least love some of the food. 

The side dishes are what makes Thanksgiving what it is. These sides can vary from family to family, but again, we all have our favorites and least favorites. 

The following list is my personal take on the side dishes. So, if you do not agree, that is your opinion and it is one I did not necessarily ask for.

WHACK- Gravy

This is an unpopular choice, I know, but I hate gravy. I have always hated it. To me, it is nothing more than a watery goo that gets piled on top of everything. It messes up and takes away from the flavors of mashed potatoes or stuffing. Those items already have enough flavor- why do we need to cover it with the juices of turkey or ham?

I have actually had fights with my boyfriend on this one because he covers all of his food in it. It actually baffles me to think people love gravy that much. It just does not seem that special to me, especially because it can be easy to screw up. 

This is a callout at all types of gravy- turkey, ham, beef, sausage- all of it. I can barely stand it on something like a hot roast beef sandwich. I probably confuse waiters at restaurants when I order food like this.

SMACK- Cranberry Sauce

I think I may get some heat for this choice, especially because I said gravy was whack. But listen, cranberry sauce brings the perfect balance to turkey. Turkey is a very dry and sometimes bland meat. Gravy does not give it any boost. 

Cranberry sauce though? It brings a tartness and a finesse that makes the turkey finally stand out. It is as if the turkey just needed a little makeup to be her true self. 

Also, I want to point out that I mean the canned cranberry sauce. The kind that stays in the shape of a can. I am sure the homemade sauce is good, but nothing beats the aesthetic of that jelly mold. It even has ridges so you know where to cut it.

WHACK- Biscuits

Give me your dinner rolls and give me your cornbread, but keep your biscuits away from me. You can try to tell me that they are flaky or buttery, but I will still refuse. Biscuits are terrible and they have no flavor. 

These little monsters are my least favorite of any bread and I will continue to stand by that. They do not belong at the Thanksgiving table. Why would I ever want something so cakey and so dry with the rest of my most and delicious foods? There is just no way. I do not think I can name one biscuit that I have ever enjoyed. In fact, sometimes I think I would prefer a dog biscuit over these. 

Now I know what some of you will say, that I can make them less dry. But how do you suppose I go about that? Add gravy to them?

Get away from me.

SMACK- Stuffing

There she is, one of the most glorious side dishes in the world. Whether you call her dressing or stuffing, you know that she is amazing. Stuffing is full of so many flavors and ingredients that anyone can love it, even if it takes some customization.

There is something about stuffing that makes it hard to resist. Even the kind from a box tastes delicious. A lot of people make their own recipes for it, which I think adds to the appeal. Stuffing can come from the heart before it goes into your stomach. I know that it personally makes me feel comforted whenever I eat it. 

It can be a rare treat, too. There are not many times throughout the year that we have stuffing at my house, so it can feel like a delicacy. 

Now, I have never tried it when it comes from the actual turkey, so I do not know if that is any different. We only ever cook it separately in my family. But my boyfriend’s family does it differently, and this might be the first time I get to try it. I cannot see it being a disappointment though.

(But if you put raisins or something stupid in your stuffing, I am mad at you).

WHACK- Sweet Potatoes

I will stand by this until my dying breath. Sweet potatoes are and forever will be one of the nastiest things on Earth. They literally make me sad and I shudder at the thought of them. The sweetness of them is almost sickening. 

We make them every year at the holidays and I am not sure why. Only three people eat them. My mom, who does the majority of cooking, hates them too but she still makes them. I do not fully understand it. 

What makes me even angrier is the fact that people will have the audacity of putting marshmallows on them. Are these people insane? Aren’t the potatoes sweet enough on their own? Why do you need sugar puffs on top of that? Why do you also need brown sugar on them? I do not see the point.

Not to sound dramatic, but if I had to either eat sweet potatoes or die, I think that I would choose death. This is one of the few foods that can actually make me angry. I had no idea how angry they made me until I wrote this out. I could rant forever.

SMACK- Mashed Potatoes

It is time to calm my nerves with the star of the show, the only potato that really matters at Thanksgiving. Mashed potatoes are a food from heaven and will forever be one of the best foods ever created.

Mashed potatoes are so buttery and so simple. At first, they might not seem like a stand out, but they are a part of so many meals. They are the glue that holds the rest of the Thanksgiving plate together. You could even hand me mashed potatoes from the box and I would still devour them. They are that good.

What makes them more amazing is that anyone can have them, even babies and people without teeth. They are as easy to eat as they are easy to make. At any meal where mashed potatoes are an option, I find myself covering 75% of my plate with them. I would choose them over french fries any day. 

The lumpier the mashed potatoes the better. I cannot think of a side dish I would want more than these. If I could only have one side with turkey, it would be this one. I will always be its number one fan and you can quote me on that. 

Thank you to the person who came up with the culinary technique of creating them. I now really want to eat some. The only way to screw them up is by using sweet potatoes, but I am not going back into that rant.

Now, there are other choices I could add to the list, such as green bean casserole or macaroni and cheese, but I tried to choose foods that most families have. 

Even if you have terrible taste and prefer the choices I found whack, I hope you have a wonderful holiday and are able to enjoy the foods you like. I also hope you are able to get through any discussion your family may have.

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