Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Kayla Bacon-Carefree Fall 2
Kayla Bacon-Carefree Fall 2
Kayla Bacon / Her Campus
Life

The Ugly Side of It

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at IUP chapter.

The passage of time has always been so strange to me; always moving, always changing, but never quite in the ways that you would expect.

It’s a paradox I still have a hard time comprehending. How can something be so fast and so slow simultaneously?

I spent much of my adolescence lingering in the past. On the contrary, I found myself so fearful of a future I had yet to experience.

I don’t think I ever truly expected (or anticipated) that I would be alive long enough to progress much further beyond the creeping sense of sadness. It was a profound sense of loneliness that I had resolved myself to. It was a crippling depression that seemed to have no reprieve (apart from the mania of course, but at the time those episodes were few and far between).

Between 2% and 8% of children between the ages of four and eighteen experience depression.

A depressive disorder, however, is much more pervasive.

Suicidal ideation is not uncommon among teenagers struggling with depression. As many as 1/3 who consider it actually make an attempt.

The strongest risk factors are having a depressive disorder and being a young female.

It should be noted that one-third develop bipolar disorder within five years after the onset of depression. For the record, I had my first manic episode when I was sixteen or so.

Sixteen was a tumultuous time for me.

Even though I am ten years older and wiser, I would not go back and tell my younger self that it gets better. It really doesn’t.

But it does get easier.

Michaela Shaw was the vice president and senior editor of the Her Campus chapterĀ at Indiana University of Pennsylvania from 2020-2022. During her time as an undergraduate student, MichaelaĀ was alsoĀ a member of Active Minds, Alpha Kappa Delta, the National Society for Leadership and Success, Sociology Club, and Psi Chi. She also volunteered with Hopeful Hearts, a grief support group for children and families. After completing an internship at Allegheny County Children, Youth and Families, she graduated in August with a dual baccalaureate in Psychology and Sociology and a minor in Child and Adult Advocacy Studies. She likes video games, reading, rainy days, vinyl records, Thai food, and spending time with her cat, Ron.Ā