Well, the Oscars happened and I have some feelings. I have here all of the winners for you. Enjoy.
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: Rami Malek (“Bohemian Rhapsody”) I feel: proud of my boy for playing a bisexual and winning
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Mahershala Ali (“Green Book”)
I feel: happy that we are all alive to witness his greatness
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: Olivia Colman (“The Favourite”)
I feel: surprised because I didn’t see that coming, but also she was so cute in her speech
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Regina King (“If Beale Street Could Talk”)
I feel: good I mean I didn’t see this movie but Regina King is great
ANIMATED FEATURE FILM: “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”
I feel: so surprised, because when does Disney not win this category?? But also, good for this movie, it was great.
CINEMATOGRAPHY: “Roma” (Alfonso Cuaron)
I feel: unsurprised. We all saw this coming.
COSTUME DESIGN: “Black Panther” (Ruth Carter)
I feel: happy!!! Go Black Panther!!
DIRECTING: “Roma” (Alfonso Cuaron)
I feel: Very good. Usually the Best Director winner is the Best Picture winner. I would have loved for “Roma” to win Best Picture.
DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE): “Free Solo” (Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin, Evan Hayes and Shannon Dill)
I feel: didn’t super care because I saw zero of these.
DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT): “Period. End of Sentence.” (Rayka Zehtabchi and Melissa Berton)
I feel: didn’t see any of these either, but the acceptance speech from these ladies was awesome.
FILM EDITING: “Bohemian Rhapsody” (John Ottman)
I feel: like “Bohemian Rhapsody” won film editing exclusively because of the “We Will Rock You” scene.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: “Roma” (Mexico)
I feel: super not surprised.
MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING: “Vice” (Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe, and Patricia Denaney)
I feel: fine. “Vice” did do a really good job of aging all of its characters and such. Well done. If it was going to win any award, it would be this one.
MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE): “Black Panther” (Ludwig Goransson)
I feel: pleasantly surprised.
MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG): “Shallow” (from “A Star Is Born;” Music and Lyric by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando and Andrew Wyatt)
I feel: not surprised at all, and yet thrilled. Also, a bit like a third wheel? Anyone else?
BEST PICTURE: “Green Book” (Jim Burke, Charles B. Wessler, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly and Nick Vallelonga, Producers)
I feel: Furious. Absolutely furious. This is the new “Crash” and I’m so mad.
PRODUCTION DESIGN: “Black Panther” (Hannah Beachler; Set Decoration: Jay Hart)
I feel: yes!! Go Black Panther!!!!!!
SHORT FILM (ANIMATED): “Bao” (Domee Shi and Becky Neiman-Cobb)
I feel: Ah, yes, Disney-Pixar won the Best Short Film. All is well in the world.
SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION): “Skin” (Guy Nattiv and Jaime Ray Newman)
I feel: did not see these, did not care.
SOUND EDITING: “Bohemian Rhapsody” (John Warhurst and Nina Hartstone)
I feel: yeah, this was well-deserved.
SOUND MIXING: “Bohemian Rhapsody” (Paul Massey, Tim Cavagin and John Casali)
I feel: again, putting Freddie Mercury’s voice into Rami Malek was impressive.
VISUAL EFFECTS: “First Man” (Paul Lambert, Ian Hunter, Tristan Myles and J.D. Schwalm)
I feel: huh, did not see this movie and was not expecting it to win, but whatever.
WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY): “BlacKkKlansman” (Written by Charlie Wachtel & David Rabinowitz and Kevin Willmott & Spike Lee)
I feel: very excited that Spike Lee finally won an Oscar, but no one was more excited than Samuel L. Jackson.
WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY): “Green Book” (Written by Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, & Peter Farrelly)
I feel: again, furious. Just unspeakably mad that this garbage movie won, but no one was more mad than Samuel L. Jackson.
There you go–all of the Oscar winners, and my own personal play-by-play. This was a weird year, I’ve got to say, but there were also very important winners and maybe some of us (me) should try to focus on that and not the absolute disgrace that is “Green Book” winning Best Picture.