“Oh, you’re a feminist? …Does that mean you don’t shave? That is so gross, by the way.”
“Oh, you’re a feminist? …Are you also a lesbian? Did you have a bad experience with a man? Maybe you should just try again.”
“Oh, you’re a feminist? …So you, like, hate all men?”
Feminism is often thought of as a dirty word, something thought up by nasty middle-aged women who don’t wear bras or shave under their arms; women who sit on tattered floral couches, live tweeting while watching SportsCenter, because it’s the gender-unconventional thing to do these days while plotting the downfall of the white man; women who have been wronged by a man once in their lives, and are now bitterly taking out their largely unfounded anger on the entire male population.
This could not be further from the truth.
Feminism is a movement focused on working towards equal rights for all people, regardless of sex. A feminist is someone who believes in social, economic and political rights for both sexes.
This is the spoken word verse by Nigerian Novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in Beyonce’s song Flawless:
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much; you should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.’ Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage, I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: the person who believes in the social political, and economic equality of the sexes.”
And below is an actual except from a syllabus of one of the professors I have had at John Carroll:
“When reading a scholarly text, it is important to not only pay attention to what is going on in the text, but also to who is writing it and who is reading it. Everyone brings their own biases and experiences when writing … For example, if a sociologist and a feminist both wrote two different articles about gender inequality, the sociologist’s article would mostly like be more factually correct than the feminist’s article, making it a better source to use. The sociologist would look at scientific data and expert opinions to draw his conclusions, while the feminist article would most likely be filled with bias opinions and an overall negative view of men.”
Now, one of these explanations of the meaning of feminism is correct, and the other one is a construction of the Evil and Unfair Patriarchy; a system of our society that thrives on creating inequalities between the sexes by setting expectations for men to run things and be tough, and for women to sit at home and be submissive. The patriarchy and its corrupted values hurt both men AND women, by holding them to unfair expectations.
Feminism is about Equality.
I think where a lot of people get confused is in their thinking of what feminism is actually trying to accomplish. They see it as just another form of oppression, while it’s actually fighting against all types of oppression. Just because feminists don’t think it’s right that larger women aren’t portrayed as beautiful in media, doesn’t mean they think smaller women are not ‘real women’ because of their size. Feminists think that, whether you’re a man or a woman, you shouldn’t be judged on your size at all! It’s not about telling you how to live; that’s the patriarchy talking.
Feminism is about Freedom.
Freedom to be whoever and whatever you want, without having to worry about societal expectations or institutionalized gender inequality raining on your parade.
In case you’re still confused:
Feminism is NOT bra-burning, not shaving OR plotting the fall of the white man. (Although if you don’t want to wear a bra or shave your legs, have at it! And if you like to shave and curl your hair and wear makeup, more power to you! Anyone (and any sex) can be a feminist, regardless of what you look like and what you like to do.
Feminism is NOT about hating men or about women’s rights OVER men’s rights, it’s about everyone’s right to be whoever they want to be.
Feminism is NOT about blaming men. Men are not the enemy. Neither are women. Gender inequality is.
Feminism is NOT against being Feminine.
Feminism is also NOT about limiting what a person of either sex can do. Are you a woman who wants to be a CEO and be in charge of an entire company? That’s awesome. Are you a woman who wants to stay home and cook for your family? That’s equally awesome. Are you a male who wants to stay home and cook for your family? Still equally awesome.
Feminism is NOT a negative movement.
Feminism IS about working towards equal rights for both men and women.
Feminism IS about Freedom! Freedom to live whatever life and make whatever choices you want to, regardless of your sex!
Feminism IS a positive movement!