As I packed up all my clothing, toiletries, and bedding to set off for yet another school year, I couldn’t help but take a moment to look back and think, “wow, junior year already.” I feel as if I had just walked in line at my high school graduation thinking my whole life was ahead of me and that I had all this time to figure everything out. When freshman year of college started, I remember having the usual anxieties that go along with being a freshman and living away from home for the first time like making friends, starting classes, and getting used to cafeteria food. But before I knew it, sophomore year was already here. Second semester of sophomore year is when I decided to go the distance. No, literally, I flew across the Atlantic Ocean in order to study abroad in London, England for 4 months. That was an experience chock-full of self-discovery, stepping out of boundaries, and seeing the world from a brand new perspective. So how is it that I have been through all of that, yet here I am, staring at my packed items, feeling as if everything has come and gone with the blink of an eye.
Time as a student has always been a challenge. You want time to move quickly so that classes can be over, however, you also want time to slow down so that you can be with friends in a “safe zone” as opposed to the real world that seems to be forever hovering over our heads.
I had been thinking about studying abroad since senior year of high school, and for the experience to have already come and gone is astounds me. I remember my first week in London clearly: I was sitting on my bed and thinking, “What have I done?” I’ve always been more of a homebody, so for me to take the plunge and visit another country for an extended period of time was a pretty big deal. I specifically remember downloading a countdown app counting the days until I could return home on my phone, and seeing the initial number of over one hundred days overwhelmed me. It was then that I had realized the extent of what I had signed up to do. I have no intention of turning this into a movie moment, but after exploring the city, traveling all around Europe, and making friends that felt more like family, I can say with certainty that time flew by and before I knew it, I was boarding a plane to go home. Don’t get me wrong, I missed home and some days felt longer than others, and at times I would find myself checking the countdown app, but that time impacted my life in ways that I cannot even begin to put into words.
I find that there are amazing lyrics in the Mikko Ekko song titled Smile that address this never-ending issue of time.
“Time will eventually knock on my door
And tell me I’m not needed around anymore,
But he’ll hold me so close till the end of the day,
When I’m quite I can nearly hear him say…
Smile”
The song lyrics from Smile address the issue of appreciating the time we have and coming to terms with the fact that nothing and no one lives forever. We all have a different role and purpose, so without seeming too much like a preacher or even a cheerleader, discover what defines you and “roll with it.”
Time can be a complicated thought to wrap your mind around. Having too much time while, in the same instance, never seeming to have enough of it. Being afraid of the time we have and coming up with different ways to spend that time with people we love doing the things that we enjoy. Yet also having the drive and determination to accomplish the things that do not necessarily thrill or excite us.
As a student, I constantly count down the time when I am in classes, until the next test or project is due, when I am on the treadmill, until the next time I can watch Netflix and be reunited with my bed, when I’m waiting in line for coffee before my 8am class, and until the next time I can be with my family and friends.
Sometimes I feel silly using the word “busy” because there are doctors busy saving lives, the president (whoever he or she may be at the time) busy deciding what direction our country should progress in, volunteers busy fighting for the lives of people whose voices are not always heard, firefighters who are busy extinguishing fires, and the list goes on and on. However, I have slowly come to terms with the fact that students are allowed to feel busy, just as a mother is allowed to say that she is busy taking care of her children. Our responsibilities are relevant and we work hard to reach our goals.
J.R.R Tolkien brilliantly wrote, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” For now, the general term that defines me is a student. I want to learn, lead, and let’s be honest…start a career. I fully admit that there are times in life when I preform the daily motions just to get from Monday through Friday. Wake up, eat, study, exercise, do homework, go to sleep, and repeat. Regretfully, as a student, this is inevitable. But there is a lot more to me than just being a student. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a traveler, a storyteller, and so much more. With the time I have, I want to nourish and protect all that I am while still continuing to grow and reach my full potential (whatever that may end up being). I wouldn’t dare put words into the mouths of others, but I have a gut feeling that many people may feel this way as well.
I remember being young and waiting for my dad to come home from his business trips. He would only be gone for the weekend, but a weekend when you’re a kid feels like an eternity. My sister and I would be decorating the house, mostly my sister because she is older and she was also gifted with the artistic talent in our household. My mom would be making dinner or helping us hang the posters that we had probably misspelled the words on. I remember the closer it came to my dad being home, the longer the minutes felt as we sat and waited eagerly. And when it finally came time for him to open the door, we would run up to him smiling with open arms. Now again, I don’t want to romanticize the situation, but aren’t those moments in life truly amazing? When you feel so overcome with happiness and joy like there is no place you’d rather be and no one else you’d rather be with? In my eyes, those are moments that make time stand still.
At the end of the day, I find that we learn best from the past. The image that specifically comes to mind is a high school senior from the late 80’s who had a great outlook on life. So, in the words of the infamous Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Don’t miss it.