The doctor’s office can be an intimidating place for many of us. Between scheduling appointments, arguing with your insurance company, and trying to make sense of all the information your provider is throwing at you, it can feel like you’re stuck in a tornado of copays and follow-ups. Even just writing that sentence made me feel stressed out!
If you are a woman, a person of color, disabled, chronically ill, or a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may feel an added layer of stress when going to the doctor. One 2011 study found that 19% of transgender and gender non-conforming patients had been refused treatment outright. Women tend to have difficulty self-advocating for fear of being an “annoyance” or facing consequences for their requests. Unfortunately, doctors only have so much time to meet with each of their patients, and it can be easy to feel neglected as your doctor rushes to their next appointment. Even if you only have fifteen minutes, here’s how you can advocate for yourself and get the most out of your visits!
- Know your rights
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The American Medical Association (AMA) has nine patient rights that we are all entitled to from our healthcare providers, including the right to ask questions, to seek a second opinion, to request copies of your medical records, etc. You are allowed to refuse treatment and make the final decision about your health. In addition, many providers allow you to bring a friend or family member for support, which can be especially helpful if you have trouble speaking up for yourself (I bring my mom to my appointments sometimes, and I’m 19!).
You are also allowed to request only healthcare providers who are the same sex as you (although, know that they aren’t legally required to comply) and to refuse residents or student observers during your visits. It’s also okay to accept a student in your appointment one time, and then decline next time! You are the patient, so you set your boundaries.
- know your role
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In addition to the list of patient rights, the AMA also has a list of ten patient responsibilities, including honesty regarding symptoms and concerns, providing a complete medical history, reporting unethical physician behaviors, etc. I’d like to focus on the third responsibility, “cooperate with agreed-upon treatment plans.” The key word there is “agreed-upon.” While doctor-patient relationships used to be very one-sided with the doctor calling all the shots, they have recently evolved so that you can have a more active role in your healthcare. As tempting as it can be to leave every decision solely to your doctor, know that your job isn’t just to sit and listen, but also to ask questions. Voice your concerns to your doctor if treatment isn’t working, you’re concerned about the side effects, or want to explore other options. It’s your health, after all!
- Know your options
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So let’s combine those first two steps to figure out what you can do if you’re feeling unheard at your appointments. As someone who has had my fair share of yearly and specialist visits, here are some common miscommunications with your provider, and how you can deal with them.
Some doctors may not be great at keeping you in the loop and can feel agitated or bored when you ask questions. If this is the case, try writing down your questions before your visit and letting your doctor know at the beginning of the appointment that you’d like to go over them, just to get them on the agenda. Ideally, let the office know when you call to schedule the appointment so they can book a longer time slot for you and give the doctor a heads-up.
If your doctor is still not addressing your concerns and questions, now might be the time to bring a support person. This can be a family member or friend, but it should be someone you can count on to have your back and encourage you to speak up.
Maybe you’ve had the same conversation with your doctor over and over again and they always forget that you don’t want to go on birth control, or that you can’t add more red meat to your diet because you’re a vegetarian, or whatever else you are always reminding them because they keep bringing it up. If your visits are getting a little repetitive, you can ask your doctor or nurse to add your accommodations and preferences to your chart so that your doctor will see them in your file before they see you. If you suspect that they weren’t added to your chart after you asked, now might be the time to ask for a copy of your medical records.
In severe circumstances, your doctor might be breaking ethical standards or even breaking the law. You can file a complaint to a medical board if they violated confidentiality, failed to provide care, or prescribed the wrong medication, among other things. You deserve a doctor who will listen to your concerns and respect you, so I hope you can use these tips the next time you feel invisible to your doctor.