7 things that happened to you on your flight over spring break

Whether you’re headed home, to the beach, or across oceans, there are several things that absolutely happened to you. 1. You arrived way too early and sat in your gate eating too much McDonalds hating yourself. 2. Airport security judged you for your fourteen textbooks in your backpack. 3. You attempted to use the inevitable delay to do homework and ended up staring at the baby in your terminal praying it’s not going to be near you when you finally board. 4. The baby was near you.  5. That baby cried so loudly for half of the flight and it made your ovaries/sperm shrink up and die. 6. Slight turbulence made you think “this is it” and contemplate all the mistakes you’ve ever made. 7. When you landed, some asshole started clapping. But hey, at least you made it!