If Game of Thrones Characters Went to Hopkins

Have you ever wondered what the Game of Thrones characters would be like if they were students at Johns Hopkins University? Probably not. But we made this list anyway!

~ Disclaimer: This is all in good fun and not meant to be offensive to anyone at Hopkins. (Except the mechanical engineers. We think everyone can all agree on this). ~

Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion is a Philosophy and English double major due to his love of books and arguing with people. He’s not in a frat but he gets along pretty well with enough people that he’s always at one house or another being the drunkest guy at the party. He doesn’t exactly have an “apartment” or a “dorm,” so he couch-surfs at random frat house and goes home with random girls so he can have a place to stay on Saturday nights. He definitely has enough money to live in an apartment but he didn’t sign a lease on time and he kind of likes being homeless. But don’t let the fact that he’s always either drunk or stoned deceive you; he’s definitely the smartest person at Johns Hopkins. 

Saenerys Targaryen

As our resident bad bitch, Dany would be in IX, with an interest in both Behavioral Biology and Political Science. She eventually rose to become president of the sorority, and outlawed any shady practices. She lives in the Varsity with some of her pets, and she’s invited to every date party and formal for every frat, but she always politely declines, instead going to her internship in DC every weekend. She’s that girl that’s so pretty, sweet, and successful that you want to hate her, but you can’t. 

Cersei Lannister

Cersei came into Hopkins believing she would be the smartest, most beautiful girl here. She started rushing a sorority but was immediately dropped by any of the ones should wanted, so she dropped out. This increased her resentment towards other women so she never rushed again, and all sororities and sorority girls are her enemy. Her only real friend now is her twin brother. She started out as a Neuroscience premed, but life soon made her realize that her intelligence does not match anyone else at the school, and she’s been slowly dropping off ever since. She now undecided, and when she failed to find a meaningful leadership position on campus she joined SGA, which goes to show how irrelevant SGA is. 

Jaime Lannister

He started out as Economics major lacrosse bro, riding around on a scooter and throwing out head nods to any girl he saw. But after realizing he had higher aspirations, he quit the lacrosse team and he’s now the top of his premed class. He joined Fiji after quitting the team, and he lives with his sister in the telephone building. He’s also captain of the fencing team, but he doesn’t tell anyone about that. He claims he’s in a long distance relationship, but no one has ever met his girlfriend. Some people have noticed he’s a little too close to his sister but no rumors have been confirmed.

Joffery Baratheon

With Joffery’s wealth and the opinion he has of himself, he can only be in Elmos. He’s the guy who’s most likely to spike the elmonade with prescription pills. He’s too good to live in their house though, so he has the biggest apartment in Village Lofts. He’s also a Mechanical Engineer, because, let’s face it, most of the dick guys you’ve met are Mechanical Engineers. 

Sansa Stark

Sansa came into Hopkins with dreams of wearing pink sorority shirts every day and meeting her future husband at a mixer with Phi Psi. She could not live in the AMRs without air conditioning, so she demanded a single in Wolman. She was a Romance Language major and told everyone she ever knew she was going to be in Phi Mu. She got in, but after dating a douchey Elmos’ pledge for a while (see Joffery Baratheon) she swore off on men, and now she’s a prelaw Political Science major. She lives in the Desoto now with a few girlfriends. 

Arya Stark

The opposite of her sister, Arya never joined a sorority and she’s happy to live in the AMRs. She’s the soccer team’s greatest player. She’s a Civil Engineer and a member with Engineers Without Borders, and she has a minor in Women and Gender Studies. She’s also an honorary brother of SAE.

Theon Greyjoy

He was a Phi Psi pledge in the AMRs his freshman year who everyone kind of hated because he told anyone who would listen that he was a BME. But then sophomore year he joined a design team and the actual work of a BME turned him into a shell of his former self. Phi Psi dropped him when he started calling himself “Reek” for some reason. You can now find him in the psych ward of Union Memorial Hospital. 

Jon Snow

Jon is an International Studies major as he’s very interested in mending the relations between different groups of people. He lived in the Buildings freshmen year (beyond the wall). He accepted a bid from Beta and he gets along very well with his fellow gentlemen living in one of their houses now. He’s also very much ALIVE. 

Margaery Tyrell

Margery rushed Alpha Phi freshman year, but only to go to mixers and date parties. She’s not a very active member, and prefers to focus on her psychology and Writing Seminars double major. She is very involved in Center for Social Concern and does a lot of volunteer work in the community. She and Ronnie D are on first name basis; sometimes they get Levering lunch together. She’s now dating the president of Beta.

Robb Stark

Robb….. is too beautiful to go to Hopkins. He actually goes to Loyola. We see him at Wawa on the weekends.