Sex shops may seem like an obscure destination, but they’re often the best place to get quality condoms, lubricant and – obviously – sex toys. Whether you have an item in mind or just want to browse, think about walking one mile west of campus to Hampden. There, you can stop by Sugar, 1001 W. 36th St., a sex-positive and education-focused sex-toy store. Unlike the sex shops you might be used to seeing on t.v. – or maybe even passing on the street, like I had in my hometown neighborhood – Sugar isn’t dark and halfway underground, with sleazy promotional messages on the windows.
Still, it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed, and even nervous, your first time. Luckily, I had the chance to sit down with Sugar’s owner, Jacq Jones– so read on to hear her advice on practicing sex-positivity, budgeting for sex toys and visiting the shop for the first time. And, if you want to learn more about sexuality and relationships from Jones, stop by “Sexplorotorium,” an interactive workshop hosted by the Center for Health Education and Wellness (CHEW), this Thursday evening in Charles Commons Salon C!
Jacq Jones will visit Hopkins this Thursday, Febuary 11th, for a workshop on sex.
Her Campus JHU: Sugar’s known as a “nice” sex shop– this past September, it was even named “Best Sex Shop To Take Your Mom To” in the Baltimore City Paper’s “Best of Baltimore” issue. What do you think draws shoppers to Sugar?
Jacq Jones: I think that there’s a need for sex-toy stores that are warm and welcoming and education-focused, and also not sketchy. There’s nothing inherently sketchy about being a sex-toy store. Most people have sex at some point in time– not everybody, there’s people who are asexual, there’s people who choose celibacy. But I think having access to that in a normalized, accessible way is something that most folks want and need, even if they don’t know that’s an option. And we’re certainly not the first or the only store to have that model.
HC: The items can get pretty expensive: for example, a lot of the vibrators are easily more than 100, or even 150, dollars. Do you have any suggestions for students on a budget?
JJ: We work very hard to make sure we have good-quality toys at lower price points. Our least expensive vibrator starts at 10 dollars, and goes up from there. When you come into the store, it’s totally reasonable to be like, “Hi, I want a insert-sex-toy-type-here and I want to spend this-much-money or less.” Of course, the more you pay, the more bells and whistles you get, but you don’t have to, by any means. We try to make sure that we have toys that are accessible to people of multiple income levels.
HC: Do you have any advice for students who might be interested in visiting the shop for the first time, but are feeling nervous?
JJ: I totally get it. I was terrified to go into my first sex-toy store, and barely made it in the door, and was there shortly and then left. Our culture gives people all kinds of fucked-up attitudes about sex and sexuality. It’s totally reasonable that somebody would have all kinds of anxiety about setting foot in a sex-toy store. But it’s going to be an experience that’s way more normal, and just like being in any other store that has good customer service, than you would expect. Just come in, have fun, ask lots of questions and most of all, don’t be worried about receiving any kind of judgment about any of your questions– that’s not going to happen here. Just be open and listen to your gut. You know your body better than anybody else.
HC: Lastly, I know you do some other sex education work, even outside of owning Sugar. What themes do you stress in your classes and workshops? [Note: Jones teaches the consent education program for MICA’s first-year orientation!]
JJ: I always try to come from a place of sex-positivity. Sex-positivity doesn’t mean that people should be having sex, what sex-positivity means is that it’s inclusive of a variety of adult, consensual sexual expressions. I also come from a place of radical consent and talk a lot about consent. Really talking about practicing ways to say “no,” and viewing “maybes” as a “no.” We talk about the fact that if somebody is violated, that’s not their fault, and that it’s the fault of the rapist. Also, understanding that sometimes you’re going to try something, and it’s going to suck, and that’s okay.
Photo: http://sugartheshop.com