The 9 Stages of Being a Senior at a Frat Party

So your friends coaxed you into going to a frat party. Sure, in past years this kind of thing would be no big deal, if not completely normal. In fact, you once relished the thought of getting dressed up in skin-tight bodycon skirts and parading around South Main Street. But this year? This year you’re a senior, and the thought of spending your Thursday night in a dirty, beer-soaked basement with a bunch of hormonal and sweaty 18-year-olds doesn’t exactly sound like a fun time. But you go, because it’s what you do in college. Besides, they say, you have all your life to go to bars, but you’re only in college once! Here are the stages of being a senior at a frat party.

1. *Looks at the crowd hovering around the front door and seriously considers turning around and walking in the other direction*

2. *Gets inside and makes a beeline for the beer because you’re a senior and you know exactly where it is*

3. *Chugs beer like a maniac*

4. *Grabs another beer and chugs that one too*

5. *Considers calling an Uber and getting a ride downtown*

6. *Your friends don’t let you so instead you people watch for a solid 10 minutes, realizing that you really don’t know anyone here (because you’re, like, old)*

7. *Accidentally makes eye contact with a frat bro you drunkenly made out with FrOG week three years ago, the one who still randomly booty calls you with three word illiterate texts like “wat u doin”*

8. *In an attempt to escape the awkwardness, you make your way to the 900 degree basement and arrive to 100+ freshman girls screaming the lyrics to “Closer” by the Chainsmokers*

9. *Joins in on the screaming because even though you may be a senior, you’re still in college and you truly only college once*

• frat
• party
• senior