“how’s my favorite ex ?” was the message I received at 11:30 (in the morning!) while in class on Thursday. Jaw dropped and hand over mouth, I had to step out of the classroom for a few minutes to collect myself, as this was the last message I’d expected whatsoever.
I’ve been analyzing this text to such an extreme extent, from the timing to the wording used to the choice of messaging me on Instagram versus texting me, so I thought I’d give a little context and analyze this simple, four word text with y’all.
There’s a lot of context required behind our relationship, which is exactly why I wrote an article about it. But TLDR, we dated for 6 months, were on and off FWB for a year and a half, and I ghosted him this past summer (to which he sent me a huge paragraph “telling me off”).
I’d first like to say that messaging me at 11:30 in the morning is a bold choice. I think I could’ve excused his message if it was late at night, assuming he’d be under the influence, but eleven-thirty in the morning on a Thursday? He wanted to make it clear that he knew exactly what he was doing, and didn’t have any regrets reaching out and breaking no contact.
Texting me in the morning also indicates that he’d been thinking about texting me for a while, IMO. Nobody has the thought in their brain to text their ex bright and early in the morning and does it without taking some time to think about it. A morning breaking-no-contact text is his way of being loud and proud about reaching out.
Let’s dive into the fact that he texted me on Instagram and not iMessage. When things ended between us over the summer, I feel like it’s now safe to say that he blocked and deleted my number, because why else would he have DM’ed me? It feels a little pathetic that he was so desperate to reach out to me, knowing that he’d deleted my number and didn’t follow me on Instagram. He had to physically type out my name on the little search bar on Instagram to message me, because evidently, he had my number blocked and deleted.
“how’s my favorite ex ?”. Those four little words are so simple, yet have so much meaning behind them. When we started talking again over the summer, I made it more than clear that I wanted to be just friends with him, and nothing more. He’d occasionally flirt with me or try to hangout, and I would tell him time and time again that I wanted to be strictly friends and that I wasn’t physically attracted to him anymore.
Saying “how’s my favorite ex ?” is his way of trying to go back to being “f*ck buddies” like we had been so long ago. Maybe I’m reaching, but I don’t think so.
I immediately noticed the possessiveness that was present within the “my favorite ex”. The word “my” is almost him saying that I belong to him in a way; that I’ll always have a spot in his life, even if it’s just as his “favorite ex”. We also cannot deny the obvious flirty-ness within his text. Most guys say “How’s my girl?” but for him, it’s “how’s my favorite ex ?” You truly cannot read that text and tell me he wasn’t blatantly flirting with me, which is honestly a little embarrassing since I told him I wasn’t attracted to him anymore.
Another thing I noticed was the confidence and cockiness going into his text. Had he texted me saying that he missed our friendship and wanted to check in and see how I’m doing, I honestly would’ve responded saying that I’m good, but I’m not interested in being friends again. Most times no contact has been broken, it’s just been a simple “Hey, how are you?”.
But the confidence seeping out of his “how’s my favorite ex ?”; he was so confident I’d respond and that we’d go back to being friends, because that’s what’s happened all other times. But this time is different: not only am I physically repulsed by his looks, but I’m honestly physically repulsed by his personality too. While I’m a little shocked that he seemed so positive that I’d respond, I can’t blame him if I’m being honest, given our past.
Honestly, if you’re reading this, this is your sign to just not break no contact with your ex. It absolutely isn’t worth it, and let’s be realistic: how embarrassing would it be if your ex broke no contact and instead of responding, they wrote an article about it? Before you decide to text someone, imagine how your text would look screenshotted and sent in a group chat.