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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: Putting Things in Perspective When Your Fairy Tale Doesn’t Work Out

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at JMU chapter.

Your relationship may be over, but your life sure as heck isn’t! If you’re anything like this collegiette and your four-year relationship and Taylor Swift-style happy ending just went up in flames, crank up some Adele tunes and take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone! No matter how long it lasted or how perfect your relationship may have seemed, it’s time to face the music: It’s over. 

For whatever reason, you’ve been left on your own. Maybe he decided, “it’s not you, it’s me” or maybe you were the one to decide, “no, it actually is you” and kissed that frog goodbye. Sure, breakups suck. They’re hard and you miss all the great times. You are permitted to cry over his sorry behind and wallow in self-pity complete with Ben and Jerry’s for approximately three hours, or the length of your favorite Rom Com. Got that behind you? Good. Now get your panties out of that twist, get some perspective, and take your place back in society as the smart and sassy collegiette you really are! 


The hardest part of a breakup is realizing why you kicked your relationship to the curb in the first place. It is all too easy in the post-goodbye-haze to get caught up looking at photos of yourself as part of a happy couple, or reading old texts and reminiscing about the time he surprised you with your favorite meal during a long shift at work. (You’re better than that!) Remember that there is an absolute and definite reason that he became your ex-boyfriend. Whatever that reason is, remember it  – and stick to it. It was probably a good one, and you probably could do better.  Though that doesn’t mean that if you ended your relationship on “good” terms that you have the right to be a total witch to the guy.  He may not show it but he’s probably upset too. Take the high road ladies and forgive, but never forget.
 

Now that you’ve gotten past the pity party, it’s time to truly focus on you! Being single is the perfect time to
figure out where you want your life to go, and what you’ve been missing out on. You have so many opportunities to take advantage of, and college is the absolute best time to 

do so. Ever wanted to learn to figure skate? Always toyed with the idea of taking that neuroscience class? Do it!

Reach out to old friends you may have lost touch with because of your relationship; chances are they’ll still want to hang out with you (in fact, they’ve probably missed you!). Challenge yourself and you’ll find that you are capable of more than you thought. Not only will this keep your mind off of your not-so-prince charming, but it will also broaden your horizons and create a more confident you! 
 

While you’re off discovering yourself and taking advantage of everything college has to offer, and we literally mean everything (hello, cutie in your lit class you’ve been crushing on!), keep in mind that the most important thing during this time is you. The key to bouncing back from a breakup is to truly make yourself happy. Do not try to “be friends” with your ex right away. In fact, do not try to be anything with said ex in any way, shape, or form until you are completely confident in your ability to handle the situation. You are your only priority. Take an hour a day for “you” time – whether that be going to the gym or sitting back to catch up on The Bachelor.  Treat yourself to a new outfit or a mani/pedi – or both – you deserve it!
Give your mind and body time to rest and think about the bigger picture. It’s okay to have your dumpy days, but losing a significant other is not the end of the world. This isn’t the 1950’s; women are stronger than ever and you most definitely do not need a hero to save you.

Keep in mind that your family and friends are still there for you and you have so much to offer this big wide world! Plus, now you can officially dance to “Single Ladies” without feeling guilty! (Oh, was that just me?) So, go out there collegiettes and make your own fairy tale happen! 

Chantal Johnson is a senior at James Madison University, studying Media Arts and Design with a concentration in Digital Video and Cinema. Aside from Her Campus JMU, she is involved with University Program Board. Chantal loves hanging out with her friends, listening to her "feel good" playlist on her iPod, or just curling up with a really good book in her spare time. Chantal loves her hometown, Roanoke,Virginia, but can't wait to graduate and explore her opportunities around the world! Within the next 10 years, Chantal's dream job would be becoming "the next Shonda Rhimes"!