Find a Bit of Hope

The global life expectancy is 72.8. That is 72 years here to do whatever the hell we want. That sounds pretty amazing to me. 

There was a time when I felt so stuck. I was depressed and couldn’t understand what I had to do to be happy. I didn’t even know I had depression and was lost. Everything seemed too hard and my bed became a safe place. Looking back I realize how horrible it all was, but at the time I felt nothing. 

Getting help was the best decision I made. After A LOT of doctor appointments, therapy sessions, different medicines, and different therapy types I found what I was looking for. That place of ‘nothingness’ went away. It took hard work and at times seemed hopeless. Years of figuring out what my brain was doing and adjusting brought me to a place of hope. 

Finding happiness seemed so hard, even impossible. I honestly didn’t know what life would be like with it. Now I see others struggling the same way I did and it breaks my heart. No one deserves that sense of hopelessness, but I know I needed that in order to appreciate what I have now. I get to find happiness in the little things. 

The struggle of mental illness has made me who I am. Sometimes my brain regresses back to numbness and hopelessness, but those days are much easier to cope with now.

If you are in a place of darkness and can’t seem to imagine a life without it then listen. Listen to me telling you it’s possible. It takes hard work, many difficult days, and leaving behind people that cannot support you in the way you need. It isn’t easy, nothing about the process is easy, but it is so worth every bad moment. 

Keep going. It is possible to get to a place of happiness and appreciate life. Find something that gives you a bit of hope and hold onto that. Mine was the sunshine. That sounds weird, but it worked. The way the sun felt on my skin, the brightness of it gave me hope. 

I clung to the color of yellow and put it in places I would see it. My lock screen was yellow with a quote, I have a yellow water bottle, and so many other details to bring a bit of light. It’s the little things in life that will bring a sense of joy to you. 

Now, I don’t have to rely on one thing. Everything around me became bright. Every now and then I get down again and have to refocus my thoughts. I find those little things and hold onto them to find my way back to normalcy.

Need help finding that ‘thing’? Well, here’s a little list. 

• Find water near you. The ocean, lakes, rivers, waterfalls, etc. You name it and water brings a sense of calm. Put those images everywhere to keep in mind. 
• Look up at the sun. This one has brought me a lot of hope and I know it’ll bring some to you, too. 
• Find poetry that speaks to you. There are a million small authors publishing poetry books for $10 or less! Order one, two, or all of them and keep them close. 
• Create and hold onto a safe space. Your apartment, a house, or any place that’s yours. Keep it close to your heart when you need a sense of hope. 
• Listen to music. Songs can work wonders. Sometimes they find a way to say what we can’t put into words. Find one you like and put those lyrics EVERYWHERE. 
• Buy yourself flowers. They brighten up every place they bloom. The symbol of growth and process brings joy everywhere. 
• Try to keep smiling at yourself every time you look in the mirror. SMILING MAKES YOU HAPPY! It is scientifically proven. Put a smile everywhere even if you aren’t smiling. 

Hold onto something close and hope for more. I’m proud of you.

• depression
• finding hope
• mental health
• mental health stigma
• mental illness
• Seasonal Depression