You may be asking yourself, “what are attachment styles and how do they affect me?” Well, the answer is an incredibly useful piece of information when it comes to learning how to handle your relationships. Attachment styles describe how an individual relates to other individuals.
Now, you may have heard of attachment styles when discussing parenting and the way that a baby will react towards their mother, or more specifically how they react when their mother walks away but did you know that you also develop an attachment style within your romantic relationships? Did you also know that they are often formed as a child based on the way you grew up? Now for some, this may be worrisome- but don’t worry, science says you may be able to change your attachment style!
The four main types of attachment are avoidant, anxious, disorganized, and secure.
–Avoidant: An avoidant attachment style, otherwise known as dismissive-avoidant, is typically when an individual struggles to get close to a potential partner or friend for fear of getting hurt. They tend to hide their emotions or break up with someone before it gets too serious.
–Anxious: An anxious attachment style, otherwise known as preoccupied attachment style, is when an individual constantly needs reassurance or validation that everything is okay and constantly wonders if something is wrong. They might fear their partner is cheating or feel intense jealousy in a relationship.
–Disorganized: A disorganized attachment style, otherwise known as fearful-avoidant, often is a mixture of anxious and avoidant attachment styles. They are often inconsistent with their behavior and have a hard time trusting others. These individuals could also be suffering from a mental illness, such as depression.
–Secure: A secure attachment style is the “gold standard” of all attachment styles. Individuals with secure attachment are often very calm and trustworthy in their relationships and have the ability to express, self-regulate, and cope with feelings very well.
Now, you can use what you’ve learned about attachment styles to identify yours. Once you and your partner have identified your attachment styles, it will become much easier to work through problems in your relationship and understand your partner better!