I understand that as I’m sitting down to write this article, I’m screaming into a void and hoping someone answers back. I know that by writing an article about my experiences, it won’t change some people’s minds. I may even get backlash from those around me. But I’ve always written to understand my feelings and to understand what’s happening around me, and this is no exception.
I woke up on November 6, 2024, knowing deep down that something wasn’t right. Call me a nerd, but it felt like an imbalance in the Force. This, oddly enough, was something that a lot of women felt on November 6. This feeling was only confirmed when I opened my phone to see that Donald Trump had, in fact, won the presidency. I could feel my heart stop. I think that was the first time that I was really and truly aware that the world keeps spinning even when you feel like it should’ve stopped. While I saw people mourning alongside me, I saw just as many people celebrating and mocking those who felt otherwise. I had my first panic attack of the day twenty minutes after waking up, while texting with my mother and trying to make my coffee. I hadn’t had a panic attack in so long, I had forgotten what they felt like and thought I was dying. My second panic attack would come an hour later while I was trying to do my makeup; I had to stop and start over twice because I ruined my eye makeup with tears.
Somehow I went to my classes that day, went to therapy (thank goodness for therapy that day!), and went to my extracurriculars. Somehow I made it through the day, but I wouldn’t have made it through without the little coping mechanisms I used. Hopefully one or more of these can help you get through tough situations, as they did for me.
1. Listening to Music
If you know me, you know that I basically live in my headphones. Whether I’m playing music, a podcast, or a video, they are always on and I’m always playing something. That day was no different, and I had reached for my headphones almost instantly. For that day, I listened to five songs on repeat — to the point that I’m surprised only one of them was on my Amazon Music Wrapped at the end of the year! I listened to “Just a Girl” by Florence + The Machine, “All These Things That I’ve Done” by The Killers, “Bleed it Out” by Linkin Park (a recommendation from my dad), “Ænima” by Tool (another recommendation from my dad), and “For Now” from the Avenue Q Broadway soundtrack. For reasons I can’t quite articulate, these songs on a loop helped me get through the day, and they’re now frequent plays on my Amazon Music. “Just a Girl” by Florence + The Machine eventually made it in my top 50 for 2024, coming in at an impressive #13.
2. Talking TO People
It was so easy to feel alone on November 6. Realizing that I wasn’t, however, did wonders for my mental health. Voicing my disappointment, anxiety, and fears to people who felt the same way as I did helped to make me feel less alone. In the same vein, I temporarily cut contact with social media and any communication that contributed negatively to my mindset. This has helped me feel better in the long run. It’s no secret that social media isn’t the best for your mental health, so temporarily cutting that contact from doomscrolling lightened my mood a lot.
3. Planning Something to Look Forward To
Making plans, even though it felt difficult to feel excited for things, also contributed to the lightening of my mood. My roommates and I put together a spur-of-the-moment Mamma Mia! movie night; it was something that we were able to look forward to and gave us at least an hour of lightness. I also made plans for that Friday to attend the semi-formal for a club I was in, and later bought tickets to see a movie that I had been excited for. Putting together small things gave me something to work toward, something to look forward to, and something to distract me from my less-than-ideal headspace.
4. Realizing That Sometimes, All You Can Do is Survive
Looking back on November 6, I am truly proud of myself for making it through the day considering how terrible my headspace was. I went to classes and extracurriculars, remembered to eat, and did a small thing that was solely for myself (I played several hours of Stardew Valley). Sometimes, all you can do is the bare minimum, and when you don’t feel great, the bare minimum is monumental. Even if all I had done that day was get out of bed and brush my teeth, I still would’ve made it through the day, and that’s something to be proud of.
I’m not writing this article looking to garner sympathy or start a political debate; I’m writing to share my experiences. I think that it’s important to show that sometimes moving forward can be highly difficult for people, and if this helps someone else out there find new ways to cope then I’ve done my job.