“We must be our own before we be another’s.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
As one of my favorite quotes, the concept of loving yourself is something I wholeheartedly believe in. Commonly throughout a young girl’s life, many influences such as the media, friends and even family members pressure the ideas of marriage and getting into a relationship. There is this idea that we can’t find happiness without the love of a significant other, but it’s furthest from the truth! We often give love and expect it in return, but not all relationships work out the way we want them to. With this, we also forget that we can bring joy to ourselves — that we can shower ourselves with love.
With Valentine’s Day quickly on its way, being single might not be ideal for some collegiettes, but remind yourself that being with someone doesn’t always equate to happiness. If you’re in a relationship, you don’t have to stay in it — especially if you aren’t happy! Here are five ways that can help you find the love that matters most.
- No plans? So what! – If you’re often stressed out from running from place to place by catering to others, finding time for yourself might be hard. If you can relate to this, realize that you don’t have to be on the go 24/7! Don’t feel bad by saying no to that party, or enjoying a good book instead of watching TV with friends. Or if you don’t have plans, don’t make it a priority to fill your time. Socializing is a huge part of college, so don’t shut yourself off from the world either. Instead, find a healthy balance where you have an active social life, but also have a moment to relax every week.
- Don’t be your own bully! – “I’m stupid!” “I’m so lazy…” “I look disgusting today.” It’s quite easy to pick out your flaws when you’re feeling down on yourself. Sometimes, you might even say these things to your friends, hoping to get a positive remark in return. Seeking constant reassurance in your friends and family can be detrimental to your relationships. Surround yourself with positive and supporting people, yes! But don’t abuse and manipulate them just so you can be put on a pedestal. Instead, be your own motivator.
- Treat yo’ self – Parks and Rec, anyone? Though they might be fictional TV characters, Donna and Tom give the best advice: Treat yo’ self! Don’t feel selfish when you buy something for yourself, get your nails done or finally go on that hike you’ve always wanted to. Setting goals for yourself can also be an incentive, so when you do buy yourself that new CD on iTunes, you won’t feel that bad. After buying things for yourself, donate to a charity or find a place where you’d like to volunteer!
- Why so serious? – It takes so many muscles to frown, but only a few to smile! Find something that makes you laugh and stick with it. Whether it’s a funny friend whose stories fill you with joy, or a YouTube video that will never get old, you deserve to put a smile on your face.
- Write a love letter to yourself – The concept might sound silly (and a little self-centered), but writing a love letter to yourself can be very therapeutic. Talk about what you love about you, or list your favorite qualities. You can make it fun and put together a crafty piece that explains just how beautiful you are. Put it up, frame it or keep it somewhere close to you. It can be helpful when you’re having a crappy day, or to have it as a daily reminder of just how great you are.
Whatever your relationship status may be, make sure you’re comfortable in your own skin! Remember that you’re always worthy and super fabulous! Check out this complete list of 47 Ways to Love Yourself for more inspiration!