Spring has sprung and love is in the air! Literally, I mean the air, that is. Across the nation, thousands of collegiettes™ find themselves romantically attached to someone they cannot physically be with, whether it be a long-term boyfriend or a guy they just met during a flirty spring break getaway. These thousands of girls, like myself, are tackling one of college life’s biggest challenges: the long distance relationship. We’ve all been bombarded by online articles claiming, “it won’t work,” “if it’s meant to be,” and “LDRs are just too hard to maintain.” Whatever the negative claim is, someone has surely argued for it. The fact is that any relationship is hard to maintain. But at Her Campus we know better, and whether your sweetie is two hours away or twelve, a true collegiette™ is never one to give up because something seems “just too hard.” Like any relationship, an LDR can be fulfilling and successful if you and your partner are willing to put in the effort. Have no fear, Her Campus is here to help put that spark back in your relationship when things seem dull!
As the saying goes, communication is the key to any relationship. When you’re not physically next to someone, it can be hard to get across what you want to say and how you want it to be heard. The most important thing is to be on the same page with your partner. You both need to be committed and understand the boundaries of your relationship. Do you intend to be clearly monogamous or is it okay to see other people? Avoid arguing through text messages or e-mail at all costs. These are the worst types of fighting, as something meant to sound funny or sarcastic could easily be taken as a cold-hearted insult. Instead, downloading a face-to-face video platform such as Skype or ooVoo is a must have for dealing with important conversations between you and your partner. Conversation getting flat? Try having a Skype Date with your guy – get your favorite take out meal and eat it with him while talking face to face. You’ll have that restaurant feel, plus you’ll spare the argument over where to order from! To take things a step further, get a Netflix free trial and play the same movie at the same time. Follow the same TV series and talk about each episode after it airs. Sending your partner “good morning” or “good night” texts are a cute and virtually effortless way of letting him know you’re thinking of him. Who wouldn’t want to start their day off with a smile? The key element here is to get creative – you never know what might come up in conversation.
In some cases, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Always remember that you are at school for the purpose of receiving an education and growing as a person – don’t lose sight of that! Take time to completely cut off communication from your partner and focus on yourself. Make the most of your alone time, close Facebook and put down your cell phone. Don’t close yourself off from your friends and the opportunities around you. You’ll find that when you finally do get back in touch with your sweetheart, you’ll be much more secure about yourself and be less likely to feel “suffocated” by your relationship. Plus, we’re sure you’ll have plenty of conversation starters that won’t put either of you to sleep.
Of course, nothing can beat the physical connection of being with your other half. Luckily for you, there are a myriad of options to travel the distance between you and your significant other whether it be 50 or 500 miles. If a car is out of your reach and you don’t have the cash to catch a plane, there are plenty of train and bus services that can get you where you want to go without breaking the bank. MegaBus or BoltBus are two great options for inexpensive and super convenient bus service. If you’re really trying to make things interesting, surprise your partner and don’t let him know you’re planning a visit! Make sure to let his roommates or housemates know, however, you don’t want to be rude. If you can’t travel, try finding time to have private conversations away from prying eyes or ears. Even though you’re far apart, being intimate in whatever way you can is a sure fire way to keep things interesting.
Always make sure to be patient, open-minded and trusting. No one likes a jealous girlfriend, especially
one that wants to know his every move via hundreds of text messages. If he feels like his mother is keeping tabs on him, chances are you need to step back. Sometimes it may feel like neither one of you cares enough, or like the lights are on but no one is home. Plan little activities to let him know you’re thinking about him. Send him handwritten letters and cards in the mail, or create little inexpensive gifts like a personalized calendar with photos of each of you. (These can be easily created if you have iPhoto on your MacBook.) The extra attention will have both of you feeling closer together in no time.
Remember that relationships are difficult for everyone, so don’t get discouraged if things seem to be a little rough. Keep a countdown towards the next time you will see each other and remember that the day will eventually come. Don’t back down from expressing, or even embarrassing, yourself. With enough creativity and desire to be together (and a little help from HC JMU’s guide!) you are well on your way to having a spicy, spontaneous and romantic long distance relationship!