The topic of sex seems really intimidating and most couples aren’t as open about it as they should be. We all just want to know that we’re happy and safe in our relationship. And what better way to figure that out than at the deepest level? There are many considerations when you have a sexually intimate relationship with someone, and those things should be talked about with higher levels of frequency and trust. So let’s see… Is talking about sex really that important in a relationship? I think yes.
Talking about sex is important in creating higher intimacy levels in relationships. Discussing sex in relationships results in higher confidence in the overall communication of the relationship too. Couples who talk about what they like and dislike sexually are more satisfied with their sex life as well as the strength in their relationship. Conversations about sex can also decrease the risk of relationship power imbalances.
As uncomfortable as it may seem initially, it’s so much better in the long run for a relationship. Talking about sex is necessary for highly satisfied relationships overall. Women engage in sexual self-disclosure to their intimate partners when they feel that their partner will do the same. This type of disclosure is linked positively with various factors including: self-esteem, importance of sex, dating commitment, and sexual comfortableness. Additionally, people who are in a long-term relationship are more likely to show affection and are more satisfied with their relationships with an increase in talking about sex in the relationship.
Couples are not only more satisfied in sexual relations with their partners, but also are more confident in the overall communication in their relationship when sexual disclosure is strong. Communication about sex is important for creating a healthy romantic relationship, and like self-disclosure in general, sexual disclosure is best when given reciprocally. Consider personal experience with sexual communication—the more open you are with a partner, the more you feel you can trust him or her in future endeavors, not just sexually. With increased certainty about openness in the sexual portions of the relationship, an automatic sense of confidence in the overall credibility of communication is created.
As a result of strengthened relationship communication, the likelihood of power balance within the relationship is higher. Relationships are healthiest when the power is shared equally. Power balance is needed in sexual aspects and in non-sexual aspects of a relationship. Communication regarding sexual preferences allows partners to talk openly and make the most of their sexual experiences, and thus leads to greater sexual satisfaction.
Reciprocity in disclosure correlates to reciprocity in the bedroom, and the way to make that happen is through talking about sex. In order to establish a stronger relationship in general, stronger sexual communication is recommended. Engaging in sexual disclosure between partners helps to increase comfort and satisfaction during sexual activities. Sexual disclosure between partners in a relationship also diffuses potential feelings of dissatisfaction when discussing sexual preferences, histories, and concerns in the relationship, thus resulting in better sex.
So while the initial question seems ridiculous, talking about sex IS in fact important. It creates a higher level of strength and comfort in your relationship. It also creates a higher self-confidence level and let’s face it: we all like to feel wanted and happy just being honest about our own needs and wants.