Preparing for college can be like sensory overload: bright comforters! New clothes! So much to pack! Cute boys! New room! Even with so many of these details surrounding us, advice that is passed down to us tends to stick and fills our ears with wisdom. Some of the advice I’ve received are such gems as never go to bed mad, call home once a week, and don’t drink grain alcohol punch. One that tends to be repeated is live without regrets. College never seems to be about regretting anything (except maybe ordering Chanello’s twice in one weekend); it’s more about soaking in everything that you can and living in the moment. The generally carefree college lifestyle fosters that, but what about regretting a missed opportunity? More specifically, what about regretting a missed relationship?
The dominant culture in college is not to even have a relationship,
as
it might tie you down from whatever you want to pursue.
Sometimes getting involved with a guy may lead to something more serious, but what if it doesn’t? Being in that uncertain limbo can be agonizing, whether it’s with a hook-up buddy, someone you’re just ‘talking’ to, or a guy that doesn’t want anything serious. We might not want to approach the topic with this guy because of what’s happening with him at the moment or we might be nervous about what he’s thinking about the situation. Not voicing our opinions or what we want can seriously prevent anything from happening and as time passes, so might this potential relationship, leaving us confused, on our own, and sometimes just a little bit pissed off.
Sometimes it doesn’t even matter why this happens, it’s what happens after that leaves us stumped. Going over every little detail gets to be so frustrating that you may start second guessing yourself. You imagine what could have happened with your particular guy and trap yourself in a strange emotional state: are you over this guy? Was there anything in particular to be over? My advice to all of you wonderful collegiette’sTM out there: speak your mind.
Be honest. You owe it to yourself and to this guy.
Who cares about being too eager for a relationship or too in to someone? If anything, this boy should be thrilled that you are so interested.
Avoid this awkward and slightly toxic situation by not letting it happen in the first place. Keep communication clear and forthright and you’ll have the peace of mind that you were true to yourself and what you wanted. After all, you can never really regret something that at one point was exactly what you wanted, can you?