Let’s not deny the inevitable—life in college brings many changes in how we think about most situations. As we grow older and spend our days surrounded by other college students, all of our thoughts and opinions begin to blend together, causing our blended opinions to become facts. I’m sure some of you are currently wondering, “What is she talking about?” As I ponder this, something specific sticks out in my mind—relationships. That’s right. Life in college brings changes in how we view relationships. In high school, the “hook-up” culture was not nearly as prevalent as it is now.
This did not become so apparent to me until last week during a long conversation with a girl friend. She had recently been asked to go on a date, and I’ve never seen someone appear to be so terrified at the thought of it. She had “shock” and “discomfort” written all over her face. I gave her the advice that I assumed was obvious. I told her, “Give it a try! It’ll be fun!” What was I thinking?? Why would someone go on a DATE? Clearly, I was mistaken. She responded with a stream of questions: “What do you think he actually wants?” “What if it’s awkward?” “What if I want to leave..?” “What if he tries to, like, ROMANTICALLY kiss me at the end???”
This is when it finally occurred to me that “dating” has become a bizarre concept. Instead of casually meeting people in class and actually getting to know each other, we have apps like Tinder, where we search for weekend hook-ups. Because of this new commonality, many of us have become wired to believe that “hooking up” is the only thing that is wanted, and the only thing that can happen.
However, my point is that maybe we think this way because society prompts us to, and maybe this infamous guy who asked my friend on a date actually wants to get to know her and have stimulating conversation over a meal. Although we are growing up among a young, carefree society where JUST hooking up is the norm, this does not mean we have to be cynical and afraid when someone is genuine. Not everyone has an ulterior motive. All I can say is to give people a chance, do what makes you happy, and stop attempting to find an ulterior motive in a person’s every single action. We have time to make a change, and we won’t know until we try.