Any Swiftie knows the concept of being “Augusted,” but to those who don’t find themselves constantly absorbed in all things Taylor Swift, this term may seem foreign. The term refers to Swift’s song “August,” that describes a short-lasting, all-consuming summer love that the girl described in the song (August) wanted to become something more, and had expectations of a relationship. It’s hard to meet a girl who doesn’t relate to August and “living for the hope of it all.” Hopeless romantics everywhere find solace in the folklore track.
So, how do you know you’ve been “Augusted”? One indicator is if you’ve (unfortunately) found yourself in a situationship where you desperately want it to become something more definitive, while the other member is more comfortable in the gray area of uncertainty, free of labels and expectations.
Typically, these situationships occur in the summer and often amount to being nothing more than a summer fling, even if you had silently willed it to become more. Those late summer nights spent together can become nothing more than a distant memory of something that was always going to be fleeting. If one thing’s certain: when one member has an inkling of doubt, it is genuinely impossible to turn a situationship into an actual relationship.
Like many, I’ve been a victim of being “Augusted,” and silently willing a guy to change his mind while knowing that the relationship was ultimately doomed. I embarked on a summer romance with hopes of a future blossoming into the fall. I often found myself confused by how he felt, but too nervous to ask his opinions on exclusivity or the idea of a relationship with me, scared to hear what I always knew was inevitable. Instead, I journaled my relationship fears that he often validated. Living in momentary, blissful ignorance was what I decided on, but in actuality, I found myself spiraling in my deep-rooted anxieties.
I realized that it was impossible to coax a guy into simply wanting to try with me. I couldn’t solve his indecision, no matter how much I wanted to, because if a part of him wanted to choose me, he would have chosen me. And feeling chosen is not too much to ask for. The experience allowed me to realize that it isn’t the August of the situation who needs to change her values or expectations, but instead find someone who can fulfill it, because, no, they are not impossible standards.
In hindsight, I realized how often I wore rose-colored glasses in the situationship. This man I had romanticized so heavily was, honestly, nothing more than just some guy. Even if I was the “Foolish One,” I’d rather do that time and time again and continue to give my heart in its entirety, knowing fully that I will one day find someone worthy of it.