“She’s overreacting.”
“She’s too emotional.”
“She’s too bossy.”
No matter what we do these labels of being “too much” never leave. Over time we have seen a progression to make the playing field fair for men and women, but it’s not enough. Women originally had the role of being homemakers, but times have changed. Even with all these changes, people still label women with negative connotations
I have talked to a lot of my peers that are women and they feel the same way. Especially being women, we are often told we are “too much” for feeling the way we do. As women, we get characterized as being overemotional and irrational. People make assumptions that we can’t handle high-stress situations because we lead with our feelings. Even when we choose to stand up for ourselves, we get labeled as being rude.
In an interview with Katie Smith, an engineering major at JMU, she gives us insight into how she feels studying in a male-dominated field. She says that in group settings, her male classmates often disregard her opinions and rarely give her to the opportunity to take lead. When she does choose to take the lead, she gets titled bossy. Katie believes these guys are not bad people, but it seems they are naturally conditioned to behave that way. However, she has come across people, mainly men, who say that she will never make it, or they give her a surprised look when she mentions her major. One of her own classmates even told her that she would never get into the program.
The term “too much” makes us second guess and invalidate our own feelings for the comfort of others. We have been taught that staying silent means that we are respectful but speaking up and taking control means that we are disrespectful.
After all these years, even with all the progressive reforms, we still have to work twice as hard as our counterparts to prove that we deserve equality. The only option I see is to own who we are. When we claim our “weaknesses”, we take the power and become in control. It’s empowering.
If being empathetic labels us as too emotional, I’ll take it.
If being confident labels us as being bossy, I’ll take it.
If standing up for injustice labels us as overreacting, I’ll take it.
I would not want to live in a world where these traits are seen as being weak. In fact, they give us more power. Our job as women is not to make everyone feel comfortable. Change does not happen in comfort.
So, make people uncomfortable.
Those who feel uncomfortable are the people that you are challenging.
You are not “too much” for being you. There is no need to be a watered-down version of yourself.
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at JMU chapter.