Freshman year of college is something that nobody forgets. I remember walking into my dorm room for the first time as a 17-year-old girl, wondering what girls I was going to have ten toes behind me all year. I was told over and over by women of all ages that the girls I met in college would be the ones standing behind me at my wedding. This prospect made me that much more excited to meet the people I would be spending not only the next four years with, but the rest of my life with. In hindsight, this mentality would end up changing my perspective of womanhood throughout my first two semesters of college.
At first, I made friends with everyone I possibly could. I opened up my dorm, my belongings, and my heart to the girls that were coming into my life. I was so happy knowing that I had people at my home-away-from-home who would be there for me during this time of my life. These girls, just like me, wanted to know someone would be in their corner no matter what happened. As we all navigated our long distance relationships, classes, and newfound independence, things began to heat up.
During this time in my life, I began figuring out my sexuality and felt more in tune with my emotions than ever. I met an amazing girl, who is now my girlfriend. Through this relationship, I learned that not everyone around you has your best interests at heart. For example, I discovered that some friends were girls who wanted to ruin my relationship with my girlfriend, some were girls who were genuinely happy for my girlfriend and I, and others were LGBTQ+ women who helped me learn the ropes.
As the semester progressed, I began realizing that not all of the people I considered my friends were really my friends. These women were supposed to stand behind me at my wedding, right? Tears flowed down my face each day because of the confusion and desperation I had for lifelong friends. I realized quickly, though, that true best friends support you during the hard times, root for you, and love you wholeheartedly. There was no reason to rush such a beautiful process. I started to be more closed off when it came to who I allowed in my circle, and that enabled me to realize the importance of womanhood.
Female friendships are some of the most heartfelt, soul-bonding, and unconditional relationships there are. Being able to experience what the world is like with other women by your side, especially in trying times such as freshman year of college, is difficult to describe. Coming together as women to have sleepovers, coffee dates, shopping sprees, girl talk, crying on one another’s shoulders, and more, is something every woman deserves. Knowing that you have a girl by your side who loves you for you and who would do anything for you is the most unmatched feeling.
I think that as women, we have so much pressure on us from society that it can be easy to forget who we are until we simply come together. The girls that didn’t have my best interests at heart at the beginning of my freshman year were just trying to find who they were, to find the women who would stand behind them at their weddings. We listened to one another and ultimately came back together, because womanhood is so much more than petty fights. Womanhood is talking to other girls in the bathroom at a party, feeling seen when your friend tells you she didn’t shave either, driving around together blasting music that made your girlhood what it was, and loving each other for who you are.
I was homesick at college until I found my home in the women that I am proud to call my best friends. I wouldn’t change my freshman year experience for anything, because I wouldn’t know the girls that love me for me. Womanhood is empowering, forgiving, difficult, hilarious, annoying, and beautiful. Most of all, though, it is undying and honest friendship.