-You’ve forgotten your umbrella like you do every time it rains, maybe it’s intentional at this point, either way, your hair feels heavy and raindrops are sticking to your forehead. You make a mental note to bring your umbrella next time it is going to rain, and also to check the weather app each morning before you leave the house.
You know you’re more likely to remember something if it is written down. There is a notebook in a drawer somewhere in your room so you rummage through the drawer that is piled with random pens without lids and used sheets of paper that you have been meaning to throw out.
Bring an umbrella next time it rains.
Check the weather app every morning.
Clear out my draw.
Now you feel stupid because it doesn’t look right on the page and surely this will not help you to break your habits. Then you draw a line through each item on the list. Let’s start again.-
Dear Diary
I hate when I forget to bring an umbrella, it makes me feel unprepared and forgetful. I know that I should check the weather app in the morning but I always watch YouTube videos on my phone while I am getting ready and I look straight past the weather app. My room is a mess and I have been putting all my old worksheets into a drawer because I might need them again someday. I want to get out of these routines but I don’t know how. I feel like it is always raining. Will somebody empty my draw?
In Response
Sometimes keeping every thought in your head can make things feel a little bit claustrophobic. Get them out onto a page (or even your Notes app), and pretty much just write in whichever form you feel most comfortable with. If you don’t fancy the classic Dear Diary, maybe try different titles. My personal favourites at the moment are ‘Notes on a Sunny Spring Day’, and ‘Notes on a Disappointing Day’. I find that by allowing myself to slow down and consider what I am actually thinking about, my feelings can unravel onto the page and I am able to take a step back to see what I am dealing with at that moment in time. I think it is also useful to have separate titles for different emotions because it makes things easier to keep track of. However, there are not any specific rules for writing, you just have to find a style that resonates.
Keeping a diary or journal doesn’t have to be a quotidian ritual, just write whenever you feel like you can. Write facts about your day. Write how things make you feel. Write a poem. Write a story. Writing helps you when your voice cannot. Your voice feels different when it is on a page, it is the same as the one that floats around your head bothering you all day long, yet, on the page, it feels solid and safe. If you feel like you want to reflect a few days later, then everything will still be there, you don’t have to look back but the opportunity is always there.
I have found that increasingly, there is a simplicity in pushing away thoughts through distractions on social media. Google will tell you that the average young adult spends 52 minutes each day on TikTok, yesterday I spent 1 hour and 20 minutes on the app. I tell myself that I like to feel connected, I want to know what is going on with people my age. Yet in those 80 minutes, I will be confronted with an average of 266 videos, 80 minutes of avoiding my own thoughts and surroundings to fill my head with even more opinions and worries from other people on my phone screen. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that it is just as important to collect our own thoughts as it is to listen to others.
Try to write today, something positive may come of it.
-Four days later when you step out of the house it is raining. There is no umbrella in your bag and a small laugh escapes your mouth. Maybe it will be nice to walk in the rain.-