Prior to joining university, I had a very specific idea of what my next three years would look like. I imagined early mornings and healthy breakfasts, interesting classes, lunch with friends āworking hard all day just to party even harder at night. None of these imagined scenarios prepared me for the harsh realities of freshers loneliness. To avoid sounding too cynical, I admit that I do occasionally live out the exciting fantasies Iād envisioned before university ābut more often than not I wake up late, cook pasta, procrastinate about starting assignments, and spend my evenings alone in my room.
Freshersā loneliness is the worst. The room in my accommodation is situated right above the courtyard, making it almost impossible to escape the echoing sounds of laughter and music. The nights when Iām sitting alone in my room with instant noodles, hearing the taunting sounds of fun coming from outside, I wonder what more I can do.Ā
It may seem like I sulk about my social life more than I work on improving it. However, I fill my days with group study sessions and wholesome brunches, and my nights at Dover Castle and Ministry of Sound āyet I never feel that itās enough.Ā No matter how many plans I initiate and no matter how many plans I am invited to, I always have nights where I have no option but to simply sit on my bed and open up my windows in a sadistic move of forcing myself to listen to what I am not a part of.Ā
I know my perception of college is flawed, and that the people I am envious of also have lonely nights, but I cannot help but feel Iām failing to live the āuniversity experienceā. I still feel the need to be included in every conversation, in every plan. Even now, typing these thoughts, Iām left grieving the memories I think that I could have been making instead.Ā Ā
Living in a student accommodation is not all bad. In fact, it might just be one of the best parts of university life. My friends constantly surround me, fun competitions and events are regularly hosted in the common room, and it is one of the easiest ways to meet other students with similar interests as you. I simply have to accept the reality of not living the āuniversity lifeā all the time. The pressure that I put on myself to constantly be involved in social events is unrealistic, and just leads to me forgetting how wonderful living in a student accommodation really is. Only when Iām moving out of my new home will I realise that I took just how fun complaining about messy kitchens and noisy neighbours are with my flatmates for granted.Ā
Although it is easy to feel lonely in the midst of all the noise, the best thing I can do right now is remember that I am not the only one who sometimes feels like this and enjoy the present while it lasts. The sounds can get too loud to remember how quiet it will soon be.