Have you ever looked in the mirror, and carefully examined your face for any signs of wrinkles or grey hairs? Or seen the phrases ‘Baby Botox’, ‘Mouth Tape’ or ‘Anti-Wrinkle Straws’ floating around on TikTok? Everything I’ve mentioned is an example of the fixation that society has on women’s ageing – but why is that an issue?
What, and who, is beautiful?
To understand why the fixation on ageing is so harmful, first we need to look at society’s (and our own) views on what and who is deemed beautiful. Whether we’re scrolling through social media, watching the latest films on Netflix, or looking through our favourite magazines, we’re being taught that women have to look and act a certain way unless they want to be viewed as less than. This is continually shoved down our throats, even when we don’t realise it.
We have to be thin, have clear skin, dress according to the latest trends, buy certain beauty products, tap into our ‘divine feminine energy’, figure out whether we have siren or doe eyes… you get the gist. But, most of all, we have to look youthful. Because the one thing worse than an unattractive woman is an unattractive woman who looks over twenty-five (note the sarcasm).
But why do we view ageing this way?
Most of us are slowly coming to terms with the fact that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and that it’s completely subjective, which is amazing. However, corporations who claim to promote wellness and/or sell beauty products are continually trying to create new insecurities to capitalise off of those of us who already struggle with poor body image. Targeting that marketing strategy at ageing, something that the vast majority of people will go through, is the easiest way for them to generate more money.
Also, women throughout history have only been viewed as worthy at the expense of how useful they are to men; whether that’s physically, aka being young enough to carry children and take care of the household, or aesthetically, how attractive you are to look at. When a patriarchal society is so focused on these things, anyone who doesn’t plan on looking like a sixteen-year-old for the rest of their life is then targeted. The older we are, the less useful we are in their eyes. Not that you’d ever see a man being treated this way, obviously.
So, what can i do to change this?
Honestly, undoing the damage that beauty standards have imposed on us is always a difficult thing to do. It takes time, energy, and willingness to distance yourself from toxic communities on social media – especially when apps such as Tiktok constantly bring these ‘trends’ to your attention, the tag ‘anti-ageing’ has billions of views on there alone.
For me, understanding that ageing is a privilege that not everyone has was a significant moment in my own mental shift, it seems unfair to take each day for granted when others don’t have that anymore. There is no way to completely halt or reverse the ageing process, nor should young women even be put in a position to worry about ‘losing’ their looks. Of course, it’s always a women’s choice whether she wants to undergo any procedures or to attempt to lessen the appearance of ageing. I just hope that we see a change in society’s priorities so women don’t feel like we have to do these things.