I am pretty sure that we have all have had those friends who have gotten into relationships and their personalities completely shifted. In fact, I am pretty sure that some of y’all have done this yourselves. I get it though. You meet someone and you think they’re the love of your life, so you choose to focus on them because you’re so invested. However, this is not cute, babes! Let’s go through the 6 ways to not lose yourself in a relationship.
1. Set boundaries and express needs.
Communicating with your partner daily and having check-ins every few weeks allows both of you to understand each other on a consistent basis. Take these opportunities to express your needs and your feelings. This will lessen the chance of having hidden resentment and bottling emotions.
2. don’t let your insecurities be a catalyst for co-dependency.
Heal, babes, heal. I am not saying that you need to be completely healed before you enter a relationship, but listen… Your insecurities will lead to co-dependency, which will not allow you or your partner room to grow or be individuals. Some red flags to be aware of are clinginess, anxiety about the relationship ending, obsessive thoughts, and controlling behavior.
3. do not put your partner on a pedestal.
No one is perfect. This includes you and your partner. Only having one person in the relationship be placed on the pedestal will create a harmful, superior/subservient companionship. To avoid this, be vulnerable and genuine with compliments and actively listen to your partner’s concerns.
4. STOP ASSUMING YOUR PARTNER IS INVITED.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, and yes! If someone is inviting you places, do not constantly try to invite your partner. Although it is understandable to have the desire to share your experiences with your partner, it is okay to not be with them every. second. of. the. day. If your partner was wanted at the event/outing/gathering, then they would have been mentioned. Try to keep your identities separate.
5. have self-care days.
Take care of yourself. You can’t have a successful companionship if you don’t prioritize yourself.
6. dON’T DITCH YOUR FRIENDS. have a social life.
Although you have a new relationship, don’t forget the ones that were there since the beginning! Having platonic relationships is just as important as romantic relationships; each of them benefit you in different ways. Having fun without your partner is okay! In fact, they should have other friends too. If they don’t, you might want to do a background check… jk.