Internet Friendships in the Modern Age

“Stranger danger” was a phrase told to us in school, on TV, and in our homes growing up. We were told to be weary when using the internet and accessing various chat rooms and social media sites. It makes sense. There are creepy people out there and we have to protect ourselves. However, since that rhetoric was being spread, the internet and social media has grown so much. Apps like Twitter and Instagram have brought together people with common interests like a certain music artist or television show. It is unfair to say that people should shy away from internet friendships because of the risks when nowadays, there are safer ways to go about things.

Before internet friends, there were pen pals. A person you’ve never met that often had your address would exchange letters with you back and forth. Through pen pals came many great friendships and that was before the age of constant selfies and FaceTime. Instead of writing back and forth with a stranger and waiting days for a response, the internet gives you resources for ongoing conversations with someone you’ve met online. You also have the option of sending and receiving pictures which you can debunk as fake through things like reverse image search on Google. Apps like Instagram now have video calling features as well so you don’t even need to exchange phone numbers for FaceTime.

We as a society began to truly value the concept of online communication during the COVID-19 lockdown when it was the only option for a lot of people. So, why limit ourselves? There are seven billion people on this Earth and you think that every person you’re meant to meet is from your hometown or in your stats class? There are so many other countries and cultures around the world and with those, come amazing people. 

Personally, I found a beautiful friendship with a girl from Scotland when I was thirteen on Wattpad (yes, the fanfiction app). We were put in a group chat together with multiple other girls from different states as well as other countries. Most of them I’ve lost contact with. I still see them in my Instagram feed every now and then but there isn’t that constant communication that there once was. 

I got the opportunity to meet one of them from New York not too long ago. She and her friend from her hometown took a road trip to Kent State to visit me and another boy who they were friends with from high school. I was nervous to meet her because I had the fear it would be awkward, instead it was the complete opposite. Speaking with her in real life and spending time with her friends felt so natural like we had known one another for years (which technically, we have).

I know others who have also been able to meet their online friends in person and it has been a wonderful experience. 

However, it can be harder when your online friend lives in another country and is in another time zone than you.

As I mentioned earlier, I found my closest friendship with a girl from Scotland. Kirsty (who has given me permission to use her name) is someone I consider a best friend. Despite being five hours ahead of me and over 3,000 miles away, we have been able to maintain a strong relationship for six years. Was it a consistent friendship for all six years? No, it wasn’t. Not many people can say they’ve remained a level of closeness with someone so consecutively, especially when the communication relies solely on a Wifi connection. 

For the past year though, I can say we became closer than ever. Factors such as COVID-19 making us value online communication as well as pure nostalgia led to almost daily FaceTime calls and conversations.

Maybe I lucked out when it comes to having Kirsty as an internet friend. Sure, she’s literally an ocean away and when it’s 7 p.m. for me, it’s midnight for her. But she also happens to have an awful sleep schedule to the point where our time difference seems almost miniscule. I honestly talk to Kirsty more than the friends I know in real life sometimes. Our entire friendship is based on strictly texting and FaceTime calls so we never forget to keep in touch. 

A lot of our conversations consist of explaining cultural differences to one another. We’ll teach each other slang from our respective countries or talk about traditions we have. After all this time we still haven’t run out of things to talk about. 

I think it’s beneficial to broaden your horizons and not be afraid to reach out to people through social media apps. The reason I’m in HerCampus in the first place is because I met a friend who commented on my TikTok who was going to Kent and got me involved. So, if you see someone cool on your ‘for you’ page or explore page, DM them! If you see someone on your timeline with funny tweets, reply to them! Just be safe as you would with trusting people in real life.

Internet friendships are not “less than”. You can form genuine connections with people without being with them physically. Especially in this day and age, we have so many resources to connect with people across the world and expand our social networks. I have learned so much by making friends online. This is not to discredit the danger and harm that is an issue with online communication but if you are fortunate enough to find a bestie across the ocean like I have, your friendship shouldn’t be discounted or looked down upon.

• fiona loudon
• friendship
• Gen Z
• internet friends
• Kent State University
• kentstate
• ksu
• social media