I care about a lot of people. Loved ones are different in this case, but I seriously have this weird fetish about caring for others. Whether they be friends or acquaintances, I care about their happiness. I always believe that making others around me happy would make me happy, but that’s not the case. Lately, I’ve come to realize that as I put others’ happiness before my own, I’m not truly as happy as they are.
I bring myself down. I start to underestimate my own emotions and self. I’m so focused on taking in their emotions and happiness that I forget about my own. To be quite frank, this makes me feel depressed at times. I lose self-esteem or my emotions get the best of me. I don’t know whether it’s because I forgot about my feelings or whether I didn’t care about my own to begin with. Regardless, this makes me feel small. Putting others happiness before my own makes me feel as though I have no purpose. I start to lose a sense of meaning in life. I mean, what good am I if everyone else is happy but me? When I care for others, I always forget about myself; I forget who I am.
It’s time for a change!
I need to focus on my happiness, and my happiness alone. In order to free myself of stress and unwanted emotions, I need to let every existing worry go free. I can’t be happy when I’m stressed out, and I definitely can’t be happy when I’m worrying about others all the time. I need to let go of every worry in order to be able to express my true self and have a positive mind set.
I need to let my freak flag fly more. Once I’m stress free, I’m going to fly that flag high! Expressing myself is a big step in finding happiness. Being your own unique self is one of the happiest feelings in life. If I’m weird and dorky on the inside, I’m going to start embracing the fact that I am indeed weird and dorky. I can’t keep hiding behind others’ happiness anymore. I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. Being my true self is the way to real happiness.
Don’t pay attention to what other people think. If I’m happy and someone judges me on how I express myself, I’m going to flip them the bird and press on. I’m going to embrace their negativity because I don’t care if I don’t peak to others’ standards. I deserve to be happy, and no one can tell me otherwise.
This all may seem selfish, but I have every right to be when it comes to my happiness. I don’t care what others think because negative thoughts aren’t my forte. I’m putting myself first in order to free my mind of constant worry. To free myself of all the stress and emotions I build up deep within my mind. It’s time to remember who I am and give my life more meaning.