One of my favorite episodes of televisions is the from the Netflix show, Master of None. The episode is entitled “Thanksgiving,” and it centers around Lena Waithe’s character, Denise. The episode takes place over several thanksgivings and it centers around Denise’s coming out story. The episode was co-written by Waithe and is based on her own coming out story. It also has great guest stars such as Angela Basset and Kym Whitely. It’s just an amazing piece of television. It’s really well written and has amazing performances.
When I first watched this episode I enjoyed it because it’s really emotional and entertaining. You get to see Dev (Aziz Ansari) and Denise as little kids, preteens, teenagers and then as adults. It gives hints of how Denise is gay and how she became the person she grew up to be. There are great throwbacks to the 90s with a Jennifer Aniston crush and watching the girls in the back of D’Angelo videos. You also get to see how Denise comes out to Dev for the first time when they’re teenagers, and she is too scared to say the word “lesbian” and instead, she says she’s Lebanese. You see Denise come out to her mom and how that’s really difficult for both of them. You also see how apprehensive Denise’s mom is about her being a lesbian. She cries when Denise comes out and is visibly uncomfortable when Denise invites a girl over to Thanksgiving for the first time.
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In contrast though, there are really funny moments like when Dev and Denise smoke the smallest blunt ever and then spray a ridiculous amount of air freshener to cover the smell. Also, during dinner, Dev tries to lighten the mood when Denise brings a girl home for the first time and yells to Denise’s hard-of-hearing grandmother about the deliciousness of the yams. I think one of the funniest moments of all television history happens when Denise brings home this ridiculous girl. Her Instagram handle is nipplesandtoes22 and Dev makes her repeat it almost 30 times in front of Denise’s grandmother, mother and aunt.
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I’ve just always been attracted to this episode. I’ve watched it multiple times and told others to watch it. It wasn’t till this year where I realized, maybe why I had liked this episode so much.
This year I came out as queer. I’m probably pansexual. I’m not really sure. All I know is that I am attracted to people and not just one sex or gender. This fact was surprising news to my parents. Since I had always presented as straight. I would tell my mom I had crushes on a boy, and I had a long-term boyfriend in high school. My parents are not closed mined or hateful people, so they were very accepting. I can tell, though, that it makes them a bit uneasy. My sister, like Dev in this episode, was really supportive and so kind about it. I haven’t told all my friends because it’s just a weird thing to bring up.
This experience of me coming out has been very exciting, but also very emotional. Over this period of time, I have thought about this episode of Master of None because there are some parallels to it in my life and it made me feel supported. I would like to say though, I’m a middle-class white woman who is dating another middle-class white woman. I have an incredible amount of privilege and also, I came out in a somewhat more accepting time of LGBTQ folks in America’s history. So, my experience is different. I will never experience the type of oppression Lena Waithe or her character Denise would have to as a queer African American woman.
What I do feel connected with, though, is how Denise’s mother treats her being lesbian. Like Denise’s mom, my parents have accepted me for who I am, and they want me to be happy. I can tell, though, they are unsure of how to handle this situation. My parents have never been against the LGBTQ community, but I don’t think they expected one of their daughters to be part of it. No one else in my family is gay, so I just feel like the odd one out sometimes. It’s just hard because my parents won’t be able to relate to me as much. When I do introduce my girlfriend to them, I know it will be more awkward than when I or my sister have introduced boyfriends to them. One part in particular that I related to was when Denise’s mom makes a comment about how Denise touches her girlfriend’s back. My mom has asked me when she and my dad meet my girlfriend if we’ll be touchy-feely in front of them. We won’t, but I might touch her back or her hand.
Another aspect of Denise’s coming out story I related to was how nervous and awkward she felt about telling Dev. I’m kind of going through that now. I have told some of my friends, but not all, and it’s awkward to just blurt it out or bring it up in conversations. I know all my friends will be really nice and supportive, but there’s always that fear of rejection looming in the back of my mind.
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I think what this episode gives me, though, is just the feeling of not being alone and that lots of people come out to their friends and it’s fine. It can be awkward at first, but in the end, the people who really love and care about you don’t care who you are attracted to. Also, just like Denise’s mom, my parents love me and want me to be happy.
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