For pretty much my whole life, I’ve had a best friend. All throughout middle school and high school, we were pretty much inseparable. I never really thought that it was a problem that I only really talked to her. I had other friends, but I just never felt like I needed to really open up to them or become super close with them because I already had my person. At the beginning of my senior year, I realized that this probably wasn’t something I should have been doing.
The problem was, my best friend got super busy. She was off living her life, working and making new friends while I felt stuck. I felt like she was leaving me behind and I had no one. In all reality, she wasn’t doing anything wrong at all. I was the one who resented her for just trying new things and meeting new people. Although I will say we both weren’t the best of friends to each other.
We actually ended up getting in a really big fight the summer before we both left for college and stopped speaking for a good almost 3 months. That summer really was eye-opening for me. I really didn’t talk to anyone that summer. I learned to be able to be alone and to actually like it. We made up before that summer ended but I finally learned that the absence of her would never be as bad as I thought it would be.
In all honesty, I really didn’t think that we were going to make up. I thought that we were never going to speak again and as hard as it was, I had accepted it. I learned that I should never have let her actions have such a big impact on my emotions. I should never have depended on her for so much. That summer I truly did become my own best friend. I took myself on dates, I journaled and I learned that just because I was alone didn’t mean I had to be lonely.
Even though we made up, I never forgot what I learned from that whole experience. And now, no one’s absence will ever make me feel alone. I know that no matter what happens I will be okay. Relationships come and go, friends come and go, but you will always have yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever have. Cherish your alone time, love the things that you do and everything else will fall into place.