For those of you who don’t know, I have a little sister. She’s one of the most infuriating people I know and she’s going to be thirteen soon which means that it will be even worse. Don’t get me wrong I love her a lot and I wouldn’t give her up for anything, but little sisters aren’t the easiest people to get along with. Occasionally it’s even hard to talk to and relate to her. Sometimes when she came and talked to me about her friends at school and all the drama that comes with being in middle school, I would brush her off and say that all of that wouldn’t matter by the time she got to be my age. Even as I was saying that though, I was aware of how curt I sounded. Her problems were never as big or as looming as mine seemed to be, but that didn’t change the fact that she had problems. Something I try to tell others is that other people’s problems don’t cancel out your own. Apparently I ignored my own advice. And she never wanted to turn to anyone else. It was always me she sought out to talk to. And now that I don’t see her everyday, I realize just how much I miss her, irritating personality and all. So this particular article is for her, to give her some advice when I’m so far away.
1. “I’m having problems with my friends.”
Sometimes the relationships you have with others are going to really suck. Like a lot. People are going to be mean, intentionally or otherwise, and it’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. But if that person really wants to stay in your life and you want to stay in theirs, you’ll find a way to make it work out. Don’t be afraid to lose some people. It’s a part of growing up, I swear. I’ve lost people too and you feel like the world was ripped away from you, but eventually they fade away into the background and you start to focus on better, brighter things. Don’t continue the toxic cycle that someone else created. I know that you can do better than that because I know you.
2. “I’m worried about making friends.”
Meeting new people and making friends is always going to be difficult especially if you come from an awkward family like ours. People aren’t as scary as they seem and they usually have good intentions. Always assume that they have your best interests at heart. They’re just as scared as you are. Be yourself as cliche as that sounds. You’re so intelligent and funny when you’re comfortable and you draw people in so easily. I’ve seen you at your best and your worst so I know which is which and I think you do too. Also, not everyone is going to like you no matter how hard you try. It takes a while to accept, but please try to. I still struggle with it. Go gently and at your own pace. People who genuinely want to be your friend will be patient even if you are a bit surly at first.
3. “I hate school.”
School, especially middle school, is kind of garbage. Everyone is always in each others business and everyone is awkward as hell and everything smells overwhelmingly of Axe and sweat. It’s not pleasant for anyone involved I know for a fact how much you don’t like it. You used to tell me everyday. There has been a change ever since homeschooling became an option, though. I think that this will be good for you. Just don’t fall behind on your work. This isn’t a vacation even though you’ll be at home all day. You’ll need to work hard and keep track of yourself now that you don’t have teachers to do that for you. I’m really excited for you. This will be a good change for everyone. As your big sister, I’m usually right about these things.
4. “Our parents are weird and/or mean.”
Parents are always going to be a source of frustration for us, I think. We love them and always will, of course, but sometimes we need to separate ourselves from them to get some peace of mind. Sometimes we tend to overreact to them mannerisms and by we I mean you. Remember that Mom doesn’t hate you whenever she yells at you to do the dishes, she just wants you to help her out. Dad doesn’t hate you either when he gets mad at you. He gets frustrated when you talk back or won’t listen when he wants you to make your bed. They’re people too and they’re very stressed. Give them a break and only call them out when strictly necessary.
I hope this helped. I love you and miss you a whole lot even though you’re kind of annoying. You can tell me more of your woes when I come back for Thanksgiving and tell me what a nerd I am for writing this. I can’t wait.