With Halloween rapidly approaching, you’ve fallen into your annual dilemma. You want a costume that is equal parts obscure, intelligent, historical, and funny, while being, more so than anything, hot. If you don’t come up with something good, you’ll have to join your friends’ Wizard of Oz group costume, and your friend who came up with the idea, of course, already claimed Dorothy. You’re thinking of being Patrick Bateman but wearing lingerie under the white button-up… but… no, that doesn’t really make sense when you think about it.
Not to fear. Here’s a list of Halloween costumes for the abstract girlies, the inspired girlies, the indifferent girlies, the #twinning girlies, the finger-on-the-pulse girlies, and the procrastinating girlies.
1. Sappho
“History women” is this year’s biggest Halloween trend. Expect Joan of Arcs, Marie Antoinettes, or perhaps an Anne Boleyn for those more invested in the “women done wrong” narrative. If you’re looking for a thoughtful and romantic gay vibe this Halloween, the queer Greek poet Sappho might be the direction you’re heading in. In fact, if you choose to purchase a wig of long, curly black hair, you can make good use of it the next day of Halloweekend by being…
2. Charli XCX and Billie Eilish in the “Guess” Music Video
Grab a friend, an oversized t-shirt, a white lingerie dress, knee-high boots, and the cut-off waistband of a pair of jeans, and dress as this summer’s most iconic pop girl. Or, you can opt for the Billie Eilish costume and don a backwards cap, fake glasses, and some oversized clothes you bought at the Mount Vernon Goodwill. It’s really between you and your friend which costume of the two that you’ll choose. I won’t get involved. You want to know what I got going on down there? It’s more costume ideas, of course…
3. Antonius Block and Death from “The Seventh Seal”
It’s fashionable, spooky, and makes you feel intellectually powerful over others. You can team up with your bleached-haired friend who was otherwise going to dress up as Elsa or something. This one involves either a long cape and a balaclava, or a classic knight’s costume. People might not know who you are (unless they’re pretentious), so this costume requires some passion for film and a strong desire to be unique.
4. Tashi, Art, and Patrick from “Challengers”
I know I’m stating the obvious here… but… come on! Although it’s more fun in a group of three, you could simply choose from Art, Patrick, or Tashi to dress up as. And, you can use the costume as an excuse to buy the “I Told Ya” shirt to wear for life.
5. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”
You could take your Rosencrantz and Guildenstern costume in a plethora of directions. You could dress as two skater guys and say you’re Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. You could dress as two frat guys and say you’re Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. You could dress as Thing 1 and Thing 2 but say you’re Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Shakespeare, after all, is meant to be re-interpreted and redesigned. Or, you can dress to reflect the time during which Hamlet is set, and execute a more Middle Ages approach.
6. “BRATZ Fashion Pixiez”
The fact that I wasn’t allowed to watch “BRATZ” movies made this film all the more special to me as a kid. This costume truly only requires colorful eye makeup, a tutu over a pair of jeans, a set of costume wings, and a long sleeve under a baby tee. It’s cute, you don’t have to dress like a specific character, and it doesn’t demand the purchase of various costume pieces that you’ll never wear again. Maybe you can convince your friends doing Wizard of Oz to change their minds?