Like probably a good handful of you upper-middle-class white folk at Kenyon, I spent some of my time in high school away from my parents and friends at home at a prestigious, mention-it-in-every-conversation-you-can boarding school. Unlike a good handful of you upper-middle-class white folk at Kenyon, my boarding school was public and thus tuition was free, meaning people who aren’t upper-middle-class like me had an actual shot at obtaining an education that, frankly, didn’t suck. Had I stayed at my non-boarding public high school, I would have been close to the top of the class without actually having to work that hard.
Not to sound like that pretentious art school kid or anything, but my boarding school was actually an art school, meaning I had to apply to an art area (in my case, creative writing) and interview and anxiously wait to hear if I got in–much like the process of applying for college. In fact, throughout the application process as well as my time at the actual school, that seemed to be a theme: “This is just like college, you’ll be so prepared when it comes time to do the real thing!” Well, I’ve been at this fine establishment for a little over a month now, and let me just tell you, this shit is nothing like boarding school.
Thus, I present to you seven lies I was told concerning boarding school and its relationship to college.
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1. “In college, professors aren’t going to care about your personal lives the way teachers here do.”
Okay, so maybe college professors don’t know the names of my siblings or where exactly I’m from or that I met Miley Cyrus when I was eleven. My poetry teacher in high school once gave me twenty bucks when she overheard me complaining that my card had been stolen and I’d had to shut down my account for a few days. My English teacher senior year knew I have aspirations to be an editor when I grow up and offered to let me peruse his manuscript before he sent it to a real editor. I’ve yet to form relationships like that with professors here, but I do think they at the very least understand that as college students, we have a lot going on, and sometimes we just can’t make that 11:59 pm deadline on a Sunday night. They don’t seem to need a personal reason; e.g., “I’m super hungover and don’t even have a topic yet” or “My boyfriend posted something cryptic on Snapchat and I’m having a hard time thinking about anything else.” As long as you give substantial notice, professors are chill about that kind of thing, which never would have flown in high school.
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2. “This workload is similar to the one you’ll have in college.”
Lol. The number of classes I’m taking now may be less, but to say the workload is the same would be like saying I have the same size boobs now that I did in middle school. I’m reading at least a hundred pages a night, writing an essay a week, have quizzes and tests coming out of my ears, and this is only the fifth (only the fifth???) week of school. How the heck am I supposed to do all that, keep a job, make friends, and, oh yeah, I don’t know, sleep? Obviously people do it, but maybe they were expecting the huge jump from high school workload to college workload. Maybe they weren’t LIED TO.
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3. “I know these rules seem silly, but in college you’ll have even sillier ones.”
During orientation, we did sit down and make a list of rules as a hall. On this list are things like, “Be respectful of community spaces” and “No shower sex.” Rules I (and any sane person) can appreciate. At boarding school, I had to be in my room by 10:30 pm. Usually I haven’t even brushed my teeth by 10:30 pm. Here, there are rules about what to do if one is confronted with a dangerously drunk person in the dead of the night. Useful. At boarding school, there were rules about boys and girls not going into each other’s dorms. I don’t know about you guys, but I really don’t feel that much more mature than I was at the end of senior year, when I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere off campus without at least one other person with me, after we had both signed out in the office of residential life and someone had checked that we were not on academic restriction. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, college gives a sort of freedom in which not only are you expected to act like an adult, but you’re treated like one. At boarding school, I was expected to act like an adult but was treated like a child.
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4. “In college, people won’t care about this sort of petty drama.”
Boarding school is, to put it lightly, a fishbowl. There were fewer than one hundred people in my graduating class. When a rumor is born, it finds its way around. Fast. Kenyon is like…a fish tank. Slightly larger than what I’m used to, but still small in the grand scheme of things, and more importantly, still enclosed. In both cases, we, the fish, latch onto that rumor like it’s the sole thing that will keep us alive. Already I know some dirty shit some people have done here even though I just met them a month and a half ago, and already they’ve probably heard some things about me that may or may not be true. The good news about boarding school gossip though, is that it died out about as quickly as it ignited. Hopefully the same will prove true here.
5. “You’ll know how to manage your time so well!”
The other night I had a sixty-page assignment to read and I didn’t do it. Just didn’t. Like, actively decided not to do it and to watch Netflix instead. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Do I regret it? Also yes. Would I have done it in high school? No, probably not, since I wasn’t in charge of how I managed my time at boarding school. Even if I was, though, I wouldn’t have done it, because the workload then wasn’t nearly as heavy as it is now and I usually had everything done by 7 pm (see Lie #2).
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6. “We’re setting you up to be ahead of everyone else in college.”
If my previous points didn’t prove this one, I don’t know what will. I have no fucking idea what I’m doing here or what’s going on, like, ever. I walk around constantly feeling like I’m going to throw up. Imposter syndrome? Yeah, that’s a thing. I’m just as terrified as the rest of you first-year fuckers (or at least as terrified as I hope you are). I wanted this to be cutesy, sarcastic list article making fun of boarding school, but here I am baring my soul to you in hopes that you’ll realize “Hey, this Her Campus writer person is afraid too. That means I’m not alone.” Because you’re not. Even if you hella feel it all the time.
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7. “Don’t get used to having your own bathroom. Communal bathrooms are disgusting.”
Okay actually this one is true. Boarding school spoiled me there. Props to them for that.
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In conclusion, boarding school made me NO MORE PREPARED for this college stuff than regular high school would have, aside from the whole “being away from home for weeks at a time” thing. And the semi-financial independence thing. And the fact that I know how to live next to another person I just met five seconds ago and maybe possibly become best friends with them.Other than that, though? Boarding school is just like regular high school: teachers telling you all of the stuff you won’t need and none of the stuff you will.
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