If you are anything like me, you can name at least 10 married couples in your life that have the world’s most heartwarming story about meeting in college. All your life, when you thought about the idea of getting married, you thought about seeing someone across the dimly lit [insert fraternity] party, the library, or your freshman year Intro to Psych class… and then the rest would be history. Don’t even try to deny it.
In reality, coming to college involves a lot more than scoping out potential partners. You have to actually relearn how to make friends, do your own laundry, and force yourself to eat vegetables (*insert distant screaming*). Despite being aware of all of these responsibilities, I still found myself dreaming of the myths about finding your soulmate immediately in college.In my first few weeks as a freshman, every time I even made remote eye-contact with a boy, I thought: wow, this is it! This must be him! Can’t wait to tell our grandkids about this! But, unfortunately, it isn’t really possible to marry every single boy you walk by on Middle Path.
After taking some time to reflect on it, I realized my tendencies were coming from an immense pressure I felt to go to college and come home for winter break as a full-grown adult—life goals set, total maturity, and a husband to top things off.
What I failed to realize was this impression of “the college experience” I had was through pop-culture and media that idealize the transformation of leaving home (not to mention that they disillusion you into thinking you’ll look like a 25-year-old Reese Witherspoon by senior year).
The truth is, college is really about discovering what you want to do with your life, no matter what your relationship status is, while making friends that will stick with you for the rest of your life. Relationships may come and go, but the experience you create through openly learning and discovering new things will be there for the duration.Letting go of this pressure was an immediate relief, and it allowed me to focus on more important things, like deciding which preparation of a potato was the best at Peirce Dining Hall or what I’m going to be for Halloween this year. As for the chance of meeting your soulmate, it never hurts to decide to go to that party or give someone a smile as you’re walking to class.