We’re all familiar with the classic gold digger from The Parent Trap, Meredith Blake. She’s pretty, demure, blond…and entirely evil. Lindsey Lohan’s character despises that this woman is in line to become her future stepmother.
I can relate to some extent, in a way that I think many other college girls experiencing some kind of major family change can. Last year I went home for the first time in three months for Thanksgiving break. When I got back to Minnesota, I barely recognized the house I’d entered. The coffee machine had been replaced by green tea and faux honey; a stick of bamboo held a decorative place of honor in my kitchen; my father was in the process of “working on his road rage.”
What the hell had happened?
I quickly found the answer: my dad’s new girlfriend had happened. This tiny, soft-spoken blond therapist had entered into our lives and soon became the bane of my existence.
But here’s the thing: I only hate her on principle. She’s probably a legitimately nice person. She does pro-bono therapy, has adopted two kids from China and maintains a healthy diet and lifestyle. I have no doubt that, on paper, she’s a great person.
Yet I’ll always think of her as the stereotypical step-monster, dead set on slowly but steadily draining my father’s bank account. She’ll always be the one who lets her untamed children run wild with jam hands and touch the hardwood floors so that I have to clean the entire house upon their departure. The one who implicitly forced me not to sleep at my house for an entire week during Christmas break because she conveniently scheduled to get her kitchen redone and thus temporarily moved into my house.
I’m sure many can relate. Your single parent gets a new significant other and automatically you dislike them. I’m used to it; in fact, I’m a pro. I ignore them and give them dirty looks and make them feel as unwanted as a sinner at church. And yes, I realize that it’s catty and immature. I’m nineteen years old, for God’s sake, and I still pretend like I’m a child, fighting for my father’s attention, desperately pushing away any person who comes between us.
But on the other hand, it’s natural to feel resentment for the woman who could potentially take your mother’s place after twelve years. After all, now I’m the one who has to incorporate an entirely new family into my own, existing one; all because perhaps she wants her children to have a father figure…but why should that figure have to be my own father?
So, call me immature if you want. Consider it childish of me to resent the person that may make my father happy for the first time in a long time. And I am trying—daily I straddle the line of despising her and liking her— or attempting to like her—for my dad’s sake. But on the other hand, I can’t shrug off the feeling that no matter what, I’m going to dislike her: because she holds an unlikeable position in my life. As I said before, I dislike her on principle.
Of course, it’s always hard to make these kinds of adjustments. To accept people into your life who mean nothing to you and everything a person that you love is no small feat. There are times to be the bigger person and welcome these new people into your home with open arms…but it’s ok if there are other times when you don’t. We’re only human, after all!