Dear First-Years,
Welcome to Kenyon. By now you’ve probably settled into your new dorm room, gotten used to the intense workload of college classes, and met your new best friends, right? At least according to Facebook, it seems as though this is the case for freshmen across the country. But I’ll let you in on a secret: nobody is as put together as it seems on the surface. The first semester of college is hard. And even if it seems to you that you’re the only one struggling to adjust to what for most of us is the biggest change in our lives thus far, I assure you that you’re not.
If you’re anything like me, your first semester is going to involve lots of crying. You’re going to feel homesick, even if you didn’t think you would. And it’s going to hit you when you least expect it. Let me tell you my Kenyon story:
Kenyon was my first choice school. I was so excited to get in and begin my college experience here. Ever since I’d attended a month-long summer program before my junior year, I felt ready to live on my own in college. I couldn’t wait for the intellectual conversations in the quad, roommate bonding, and even for the buffet-style dining hall. But then, the summer before I left, I suddenly started freaking out. I had a super tight-knit group of friends in high school, and I didn’t want to leave them. I couldn’t imagine living states away from my family, who I was super close to. Above all, I was suddenly terrified of change.
Coming to Kenyon last August was scary. I felt a mix of terror and uncontrollable excitement that I think most freshmen feel in their first few days in college. I was excited to meet new people and potential friends, but it was also really hard. Most of my conversations during orientation were the typical awkward first conversations, and I felt like I wasn’t making any progress meeting people. Worst of all, it felt like everyone had already formed their groups of friends, and for some reason, I hadn’t been able to. College was the first time I attended a new school since third grade that I had to start completely over making friends. I worried that maybe I couldn’t do it now.
I did start to make friends once classes began. I had fun exploring Mount Vernon and having movie nights, but I still felt unsettled. I didn’t feel as close to my friends here as I did to my friends from home, and the people here were so different from those who attended my high school that it was disconcerting. My mom would tell me when I called her on the phone upset that friendships take time to develop the strong bonds I was used to, but I still felt lonely. I missed home; I missed the friends I already had complex inside jokes with. What was worse was that I was starting to feel guilty for choosing Kenyon. Kenyon was supposed to be my dream school, but it would have been less expensive to go to an in-state school. I began to think about whether transferring would be the right option for me.
Inevitably, I decided to stick it out for at least the year. The one thing that kept me feeling as though Kenyon really was the place for me were my classes. I loved my professors, and my classes were so much more interesting than they had been in high school. I really did think Kenyon was the place for me academically. And as time went on, I became closer to my friends. We made more memories together and I started to really enjoy my time at Kenyon. It definitely took time getting used to campus, and the winter was rough, but by the time spring came around, I was glad that I had stuck it out.
The moral of my story is: freshman year can suck, a lot. There are a lot of big changes happening at the same time, and homesickness is inevitable. But nearly everyone is feeling that way, even if it doesn’t seem like it. And sophomore year is so much better. Second semester of your first year is much better. So trust me, if you’re feeling unsettled here at Kenyon, you’re not alone, and you will get through it. Those people you met in class, or on your hall, or in that club, you can get closer to. Why not reach out to them now and talk about how you’re feeling? I bet it’s something you can bond over. And, after making more memories with them, they’ll start to feel more like the close friends you left behind. As my mom said, “it just takes time.” And college only gets better from here. I promise.
Love,
Rebecca
Image Credit: Rebecca Frank