No one likes seeing a friend hurting, but there’s a special kind of hurt involved in a breakup. A person that once brought a friend so much happiness is now the cause of a great deal of pain. The friend will likely have to go through a period of low self-esteem and loneliness, even when surrounded by other people who love them and want them to know how great they are.
Watching a friend go through a breakup can be a powerless experience. As much as you want to help, there’s not a whole lot you can do besides offer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to rant to, or a punch in their ex’s face (though that last one isn’t usually recommended or socially acceptable—even if that person deserves it). The most important thing you can do is to make your friend’s recovery time as pleasant and comfortable as possible. And that calls for the ultimate breakup kit. Here’s what you’ll need*:
Food
When most people are sad, they eat. So the number one item on our list is providing your sad friend with free food. Junk food is at the top of the list, particularly chocolate and ice cream. Go ahead, buy a whole pint. And make sure to get your friends favorite snacks, whether it be CheezIts, popcorn, chips and salsa, or Reese’s. All that being said, some people completely lose their appetite when they’re upset. Buy them food anyway—they’ll get hungry again eventually.
Comforting beverages
To go along with snacks—or if your friend isn’t eating—it’s a good idea to provide something especially yummy and soothing to drink. For a lot of people, this means tea, but hot cocoa or coffee might also be a good option. For soda drinkers, even if they only drink it as a treat, get them a liter of their favorite flavor.
A box of tissues
A necessity, for obvious reasons.
A coloring book
With the coloring book trend still in full swing, take advantage of the wide variety of options available to you. You could go old school and get one with animals (I have a dinosaur one) or shell out a little more cash for one of the beautiful adult coloring books found in most bookstores. Don’t forget a pack of colored pencils, markers, or crayons!
Music
Breakup playlists could be its own article. Write down a list, burn a CD, or make a Spotify playlist—whatever makes for easy listening for your friend. Tailor the playlist to their musical preferences.
Zzzquil
If your friend is having trouble sleeping after the breakup, or you know they get insomnia in times of mental stress, it might be a good idea to include a small box of a non-habit forming sleep aid. If your sad friend is well rested, they’ll be less likely to break down crying in the middle of class (one would hope).
Flowers
Perhaps this is my own personal bias because I love them, but flowers are the perfect way to show you care. In times of grief, a brightly colored bouquet can provide a bright spot in someone’s day.
Movies
Movies are the perfect distraction because they don’t require a lot of mental effort, but are just enough to take your friend’s mind of their troubles. Go for something uplifting and funny that avoid anything romantic, like Zootopia. If your friend still needs to wallow, perhaps pick up romantic drama like Dirty Dancing or When Harry Met Sally.
A stuffed animal
In my opinion, this is one of the most important items in the breakup kit because it will last the longest. This little buddy will be there for your friend even when you can’t be. Pick an animal and a name that means something to both of you, and it can be something that continues to symbolize the strength of your friendship, especially during hard times.
A bag or a box
You’re going to need something to this all in. Although you could go for a plain old cardboard box, I’d recommend seeing if you can find any bright, happy gift bags, or even a reusable bag that your friend can keep to use for other things. It will add a personal touch and make the occasion feel more like a celebration than a time of mourning.
A note or card
Lastly, include a note, short or long, depending on what you want to say, letting your friend know how much you care about them and that this pain is temporary. You could even recruit their other friends to sign it and say something nice about the person. Everyone needs to be reminded that they’re loved once in a while!
After delivering the breakup kit, get your friend cozy in a blanket on a couch or bed, and give them time to process, either alone or in the company of people who want to love and support them. You’ve done all you can do. The rest takes time.
*Please note: Buying ALL of these things is very expensive (likely over $100). If you’re strapped for cash, but still want to do something sweet for your friend, I’d recommend going with the food-stuffed animal-card/playlist trifecta. It’ll show you care about their mental well-being, without leaving you unable to do laundry or buy food for the next three weeks. Alternatively, gather a group of mutual friends together and split the cost.
Image credits: vixendaily.com, pinterest.com, brit.co, doghint.com, inkpug, theodysseyonline.com, fithaven.org