This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Kenyon chapter.

Name: Hannah Larkspur

Story behind your middle name?: It’s a type of flower that grows in the mountains of Colorado, where my parents met, fell in love, and got married. Then my dad got a job in Indiana and they had to move there, so they named me that so they wouldn’t forget about the mountains and the place they fell in love. Romantic hippy dippy s**t.

Year: 2012

Hometown: Boulder, Colorado

Major: Biology [nerd!] with a minor in Philosophy [nerd status confirmed]

Relationship status: Buy me a drink.

Birthday: October 4, 1989

Favorite Fighting Move: 1, 2, jab

If you were a magician, what would be your signature trick?

Shooting an apple off of somebody in the audience’s head with a bow and arrow

Hook-ups’ costumes of Halloween’s past?

I’ve never hooked up with anyone on Halloween…or I don’t remember.

MFK – Gollum, Sauron’s Eye, Balrog?

Kill Gollum because he’s so wishy-washy and because he eats raw fish. Mostly because he eats raw fish. Marry the Eye for he power. I guess that leaves the dragon thing [Balrog].

Thoughts on the DFMO/MO on the DF?

Pro.

How old is too old?

Age is just a number.

Sexiest Middle Ground meal?

Um, okay. There really aren’t that many sexy items on the menu. Chicken fingers…BYO table cloth, wine, and candles.

Thoughts on Artax’s death in the Swamps of Sadness?

It’s always sad when horses die, but I don’t remember that one in particular.

Did you know Falcor was a dragon or did you think he was a big dog?

Closer to a dog.

What would turn you off sooner on a first date – mouth breathing or the sweats?

Mouth breathing. It’ an indication of poor respiratory health. And it’s also one of my least favorite qualities in a person…ever.

Who would you rather have play at your wedding – Venga Boys or Lil’ Bow Wow (back when he was still lil’)?

Why are you asking me heteronormative questions? …Baha Men.

Favorite pick-up line(s)?

None. I let them come to me.

Sexiest statue on campus?

Naked lady in front of Gund Gallery.

Could the science quad statue ever be the sexiest one?

That was the first thing that popped into my mind to be honest. It’s all orifices and curves.

Parking lot pimping versus ghost riding the whip.

Ghost riding the pimp whip.

What is your pimp whip?

’93 Nissan Pathfinder. Manual transmission. 4 wheel drive. Don’t ask if you can borrow it – the battery is dead.

Finish this sentence: “I like my men/women like I like my compost…”

Steamy and covered in dirt.

Weirdest place you’ve ever peed on campus?

When that statue of the boy and girl were by middle path, I peed behind them on the president’s lawn.

Tell me about your high school self.

Longer hair, more makeup, tighter jeans, fewer concussions.

When will we next see those sparkly, denim, Limited Too-esque shorts?

Oof. Someone ask me to a Greek formal, and I will wear them.

Sunset point – cute or coercive?

Coercive because there’s no good escape route.

Finish this sentence: “I like my men/women like I like my cigarettes…”

Smokin’ hot.

Would you marry Gund Ballroom?

Absolutely not. I love it a lot, but it’s not the type of ballroom I would take home to Mom and Dad. Why are you still asking me heteronormative questions?

Favorite non-gendered space on campus?

My bed. No, those stairs between McBride, Mather, and Caples and next to Weaver. That’s the prettiest spot on campus. F you, middle path.

Is there anything else you want me to ask you?

Would you like a cigarette?

Would you like a cigarette?

Yes, thank you for offering.

Hannah

We wanna slide into your DMs