At first, Shakira’s “Wherever, Whenever” seems like nothing more than a catchy pop song, but upon closer examination, it seems to be depicting a very complex, long distance relationship between two apparently volatile lovers. I have gone through the song line-by-line and attempted to decipher Shakira’s broken English and creative metaphors and decode exactly what the heck the story of this “romance” is. Read on to discover the hidden meaning:
Lucky you were born that far away so
We could both make fun of distance
That’s not funny. I have several friends in long distance relationships (I’m single) and I can tell you it’s nothing to make fun of. Oh…I see you’re using humor to hide the pain. I do that too. Haha.
Lucky that I love a foreign land for
The lucky fact of your existence
Ok. I guess its good that you appreciate other cultures.
Baby I would climb the Andes solely
To count the freckles on your body
No you wouldn’t. That’s absolutely absurd. Do you know what the Andes are? Also, can’t you count my freckles without climbing the Andes? His body must be located at the top of the Andes mountains for this sentence to even begin to make sense.
Never could imagine there were only
Ten Million ways to love somebody
I can name six ways to love somebody at most. You know, make that five. Two of the ones I was thinking of were the same.
Le ro lo le lo le, Le ro lo le lo le
…sure.
Can’t you see
I’m at your feet
What are you doing down there? I thought you guys were literally across the world from each other.
Whenever, wherever
We’re meant to be together
That’s cute.
I’ll be there and you’ll be near
What?
And that’s the deal my dear
Ok, what exactly is this “deal?” Are you near or far? Wherever? What time?
Thereover, hereunder
My English professor tells me these aren’t really words
You’ll never have to wonder
I’m wondering a lot of things at this point (see above)
We can always play by ear
This is a big change from the “climbing the Andes” and “counting freckles”
But that’s the deal my dear
This deal doesn’t sound very good anymore.
Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain
First of all, fountains aren’t supposed to spill. The whole point is to have water in a contained area. Second of all, who are you mumbling to? Use email.
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
Whoa.
So you don’t confuse them with mountains
Who has ever confused breasts with mountains? I’m seriously starting to doubt that you know what mountains are.
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
I guess…
To run for cover when I need it
WHAT?!!??! Is this an abusive relationship? Do NOT continue it!!!!
And these two eyes that for no other
The day you leave will cry a river
I’m starting to think English isn’t your strongpoint.
Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le
Is this morse code? Are you asking for help? Stay where you are. I’m coming. Do NOT climb the Andes!!!
At your feet
I’m at your feet
Not again!
Whenever, wherever
We’re meant to be together
Are you really, though? I doubt it, considering everything else you’ve said.
I’ll be there and you’ll be near
Ok, if you’re there and he’s near…where am I? I’m hungry.
And that’s the deal my dear
I’ll see you there.
Thereover, hereunder
Do you mean over there? Or under here? Please clarify.
You’ll never have to wonder
We can always play by ear
But that’s the deal my dear
Just because you say it over and over again doesn’t actually make it a “deal.”
Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le
Think out loud
Say it again
Are these thoughts connected at all or are you just tuning me out?
Le ro lo le lo le lo le
I get it!!!
Tell me one more time
That you’ll live
Lost in my eyes
I never actually said that.
Whenever, wherever
We’re meant to be together
I’ll be there and you’ll be near
And that’s the deal my dear
Thereover, hereunder
You’ve got me head over heels
Sounds violent.
There’s nothing left to fear
I’m a little afraid, to be honest.
If you really feel the way I feel
It’s unclear how anyone feels anymore. I think you both need to take some time apart and think this through.
Well, there you have it. I know this is only one take on this complicated poetic masterpiece, but Senior drama major Ryan Drake also would like to comment: “As a woman with large breasts, frequently confused for mountains, I am offended. Who said mine were arrogant?!”s
For more lyrical interpretations by Haleh, click here.