I arrived on move-in day at Kenyon’s famously idyllic campus with a mattress (ridiculous, right?), three suitcases of clothing, and enough shampoo to last Hagrid until the year of my graduation.
Unpacking, I realized I only had enough underwear for a week, four pairs of heels, a backless white dress, three bottles of anti-itch cream and no toothpaste. There were eleven boxes of Crystal Light in my bag but I neglected to bring tissues. My packing was geared more toward the streets of London than Kenyon’s Middle Path.
As a freshman, I was (and continue to be) naïve at best. I hadn’t known how much fun dorm life would be, how much stress that first paper would cause, how an Old Kenyon party is simply code for a sweaty, groping, beer-breathed affair. Freshman year is a cloud of emotions: fear, newfound freedom, an unparalleled sense of isolation when making friends isn’t instantaneous like in the movies. I still don’t know how to deal with the Monday morning awkwardness of seeing the guy I drunk Facebook messaged, considering we have two classes together but have never conversed IRL.
There are a million questions running through my head at all times: “Does it look strange if I sit alone at lunch?” (Ed note: no girls, you’ll simply look confident) “Who is that person?” “Is this a good time to go to the KAC?” What I expected from college (something akin to Rory from Gilmore Girls experience) is nothing like the actuality (me skipping around the fringes of the freshman quad singing “Young and Wild and Free”, a little tipsy, a little chilly in the bipolar Ohio air). Personally struggling with items I forgot at home (adiós adorable red flats) and my lack of time management skills as well as my utter naiveté about social aspects of life, I gathered questions from equally innocent freshman girls.
With help from wise senior ladies who were kind enough to share their years of college wisdom with me,we hope to answer some common freshman questions and help future freshmen avoid the mistakes we’ve already made.
Q: Where’s the best place to hook up on campus?
A: Your room. Privacy, dude.
A: The best places to hook up on campus have always been the random ones–not my room. For example, Peirce bathroom, Phi Kap lounge, Watson common room
Q: How do you deal with the awkward seeing the person I hooked up with last night this morning in pierce?
A: Whip out your phone. Immediately. Lacking said device? Book it towards the salad bar. No one goes near there the morning after heavy drinking.
A: Don’t be awkward.
A: Make eye contact – after the first hello, it’s much less uncomfortable for everyone
Q: What’s your most embarrassing story about freshman year?
A: Sending an all-stu around 2 AM on Phling (RIP) begging someone to take me to McDonalds. A random dude responded and drunk drove me. Bad. Bad. But so good. Mmmm hash browns.
A: Slipping in Peirce at Christmas Dinner and almost very publicly spilling a huge tray of food (RIP trays).
Q: How do I organize my time well?
A: Plan your week in advance. It sounds really obvious, but plan what work you want to get done during the week on the weekend. Also, use your Saturday. I know it sounds awful, but if you start even the most menial task on Saturday, it makes Sunday much less painful. If you’re less stressed on Sunday, it generally makes the week go more smoothly.
A: Use a planner!
Q: Is there any happy medium between casual hookups and intensely committed relationships?
A: Intensely committed relationships? Kenyon? LOL.
A: Yep. Hard to come by, but definitely possible
A: Unfortunately, no, not that I know of. I can tell you that friends with benefits doesn’t work. (Disclaimer: it will be nothing like No Strings Attached).
A: Doesn’t happen much here, and doesn’t usually go well when an in-between is attempted
Q: Who is the hottest senior guy?
A: Chris Pappalardo. But the hottest freshman by far is some sexy basketball player named Max. Last name and birthplace unknown. All I can give you is sexy, blonde, basketball player Max.
A: Tough question, so I’ll have to pick four – Henry Asher, Tommy Brown, Mark Torcivia and Jesse Goldfarb
A: Just no.
Q: What’s the best extracurricular activity to do?
A: Netflix Instant Watch
Q: What’s your favorite meal to make yourself at Peirce?
A: Deluxe salad.
A: Bagel with cream cheese? Pretty miserable
Q; How do I dress for this crazy Ohio weather?
A: Doesn’t matter what you wear as long as you’ve got the right tunes to get you through your walk. Listen to the new Carly Rae Jepsen. It’s fab.
A: HCK has lots of pieces on this, but its definitely all about layering for heated classrooms and cold outdoors
Q: Do people go on spring breaks together in friend groups?
A: Not freshman year, but afterwards for sure.
A: Very rarely. Not like high school seniors do.
Q: What’s the best dorm to live in sophomore year?
A: BUSHNELL. MATHER SMELLS FUNNY.
A: Best dorm to live in sophomore year is BUSHNELL if you’re a girl. Seriously it’s so clean and smells nice and it’s fun to live with all girls, especially if a lot of your friends live there. Last year we deemed it a sorority house and I still feel a connection with many of the girls who I lived there with. Also the common room is amazing, it’s literally like a ski lodge. The rooms are small but there’s a ton of storage space and I mean come on, all the rooms here are small. (Ed Note: It really is all about the Bush for sophomore girls)
A: Anywhere South.
Q: What are the personalities of the sororities?
A: Mmmmmmm…No comment.
Q: What’s a classic Kenyon look that won’t cause me to look like an obvious freshman at a party?
A: We can tell you’re freshman because the twinkle in your eye hasn’t died yet, not because of what you’re wearing.
A: Read the Top 5 Essential Outfits for Going Out. In all seriousness, though, everyone always wears tight black/red/green/blue/everyothercolor skirts. Be original. Don’t wear a skirt. Or pants. Just be free.
A: Stop worrying so much!! Be confident!! To paraphrase South Park, “it’s your hot body, you do what you want”
A: Just wear what you’d normally wear and show your style. You don’t however, need to be naked