The Walking Dead, Zombieland, World War Z, iZombie—the list of popular TV shows and movies about zombies goes on. I could probably publish a full-length article consisting of just the titles of all the zombie-centric shows and movies I could find. Don’t believe me? IMDb made a list of the “Most Popular Zombie Feature Films” that were released just in the year 2013. Over 70 films made that list. Clearly, our society has an obsession with zombies.
But what would you actually do if a zombie apocalypse broke out? What if it happened while we were all still at Kenyon? Just for fun (and because you never know, this information could come in handy one day), a couple other members of the Kenyon community and I compiled our ideas about how to survive the zombie apocalypse here in Gambier, Ohio.
There are five key factors to consider when planning your survival plan:
1. People
Would you form a group or lone-wolf it? If you decided to establish a group, who would you want to join it?
Carmen King, Fine Arts & Humanities Librarian: “[I’d want to form a group with] friends from my card group…we can be pretty ruthless against each other. If we have a common enemy, the skies the limit. I’m not sure we could take along our dogs, that would be the biggest issue…we all love the dogs too much. We could not sacrifice them to the zombies. The women in my card group are resourceful and clever. We also know most of the buildings on campus very well and could use them as real cover.”
The countless hours I’ve spent watching and rewatching episodes of The Walking Dead has taught me that it’s generally best to be in a group. The more people, the better. At the same time, this is the apocalypse we’re talking about here, and the end of civilization as we know it will likely make people do some pretty crazy things. So be careful when chosing your teammates; not everyone can be trusted. Carol knows what I’m talking about.
2. Supplies
What would you absolutely need? Where would you find those items? What location would you raid first?
Kaylin Allshouse, 2019: “[I’d raid] the health center because I would want to have access to medicine as needed.”
Food, water, weapons, medicine—these are the most important supplies. The health center should be fairly easy to reach since it’s located more on the outskirts of campus. However, I’d hit that location last. My first priority would be finding food and water at the Market or Peirce, whichever location is least crowded with zombies/fellow survivalists. I’m leaning towards Peirce because they have so many other useful items there, not to mention multiple exits if things go wrong. We’ll talk weapons next. First, enjoy this gif of Carl eating from an enormous can of chocolate pudding. If the apocalypse hits, remember this.
3. Weapons
What would be your weapon of choice? Where would you get it?
Kaylin Allshouse, 2019: “[My weapon of choice would be a] baton. I would find something from the theater department because they just have a bunch of heavy objects lying around.”
After securing some food, water, and possibly some medication, I’d head to campus safety, maintenance, or maybe even the campus auto shop to search for weapons to defend myself. I don’t know exactly what campus safety is “armed” with, but they’ve got to have something, right? A police baton? Stun gun, perhaps? (Do stun guns even work on zombies??? Oh well, trial and error, I guess). Maintenance would at least have some tools lying around, and if worst comes to worst, Peirce has knives hidden away in the kitchen. The sharp, stabby kind, not the dull butter knives we students can choose from in the servery.
Side note: Obviously, my long-term weapon plan is to head to my house 18 miles away and pick up the anniversary present my boyfriend bought me last year…wait, you’re saying your significant other didn’t buy you an identical replica of Michonne’s katana for your two-year anniversary? That sucks. I guess I’ll just have to be the token badass warrior woman on campus.
4. Shelter
If you were stuck on campus where would you stay?
Carmen King, Fine Arts & Humanities Librarian:“I think I would like to be in the library. There are all sorts of nooks and crannies to hide in. The only problem would be our vulnerability for the zombies to get in the windows and multiple doors. It would also be a convenient place to hide, as there are couches and bean bag chairs for sleeping, when you could sleep, and the vending machine usually has some food for sale.”
This is a tricky one since Kenyon doesn’t have any buildings that would be particularly easy to fortify and escape from if need be. The best I can think of are Ralston House, Lentz House, and the BFEC since these are all in a more removed location. Ideally, the BFEC would be my first choice since it’s the farthest from campus and the town of Mount Vernon. Unfortunately, nothing would be as perfect a shelter as the prison the group finds in The Walking Dead.
5. Zombies
What would your policy be on killing zombies? How would you handle group members who were scratched or bitten?
Kaylin Allshouse, 2019: “You kill the [zombies] that are an immediate threat and if you are farther away from the base you can kill as you see fit. I wouldn’t want to mindlessly kill them and make noise, attracting them closer to the camp. If someone was bitten or scratched we would either remove that part of them or wait with them to die.”
Kaylin has some solid reasoning. You can’t hesitate to kill zombies that are a threat to you or your group, but there isn’t much sense in going on a killing spree. That would just put you in unnecessary danger. As for potentially infected group members, if amputation is a feasible option, do it. Otherwise, quarantine them until you can determine whether they are actually infected or not. Don’t do anything risky!
Hopefully, you learned a few things from this article. Maybe you’re even inspired to binge-watch some zombie TV shows and movies to help you prepare for the impending apocalypse, assuming that zombies will behave according to the way pop culture has portrayed them, of course. Ultimately, I believe it is possible to survive the zombie apocalypse at Kenyon; however, escaping Gambier would probably be best. My parting advice: you definitely need a long-term plan. This piece only covers short-term solutions. My friends and I have created our own plan for surviving in rural Ohio. I suggest you do the same.
Image Credit: Giphy, The Walking Dead Wikia