Being the “mom” friend of your group has its perks: everyone can count on you, you’re known to be reliable, and you keep your “kids” safe. However, being the “mom” friend can be exhausting, so it’s important for all of us to find a balance between keeping our friends in check, self-care, school, and having fun.
I have always been the person in my friend group to be the “mom.” Over the past couple of years, I have realized that being the mom friend makes my life incredibly busy! I accepted the fact that I needed to put some balance in my schedule. I had to make time for self-care and to let loose on occasion while simultaneously juggling classes and studying. With school consuming most of my time throughout the week, I am exhausted by the time the weekend comes, both mentally and physically. I started to become frustrated that although I was doing well in school and supporting my friends, I was not fully enjoying my life. I lacked the thrill and pampering that all of my friends usually have in their lives. I always hear about one friend who stayed in on a Friday night to do a face mask and clean her room while I am making sure my friends are partying safely. There is the one friend who always tells me about her fun night out on a weekend while I am up late studying or doing homework instead. I realized that I wanted to still be the mom friend, but I also wanted to not be the mom friend for once. Now I totally understand why it’s widely said that “moms need a break too.”
The first step to finding my balance in life was making time for a self-care session once a week. This is where I would apply a face mask, turn on some Netflix, and avoid all work and people for the night. Sometimes, it’s important for even the most extroverted of people to have a break from socializing. I decided that on every Friday or Sunday evening that I would dedicate all my time to self-care and nothing else. It is so important now to take a break from working and studying all of the time and make some time for yourself. Even if you’re like me and stress about everything, taking the time to pamper yourself for a little while will help alleviate your current stressors.
After learning how to fit self-care into my schedule, I focused on times where I could have fun and spend time with my friends outside of the library. Also included in this is myself having fun without having to worry about my friends. My priorities consisted of making sure everyone had a good night at parties rather than letting loose myself and enjoying the night time scene. I made it my New Year’s resolution to stop stressing as much as I do about those around me. Now whenever I go out with my friends, I check on them periodically and tell myself to stop worrying as much. They even told me that if they needed help, they would tell me right away. Knowing that my friends are capable of taking care of themselves made me feel a lot better about letting loose on nights out. So, once a week, I allow myself a fun night out with my friends as a way of relieving stress.
Finding this balance between work and fun made my life so much more enjoyable. Overall, I feel less stressed generally. I no longer find myself worrying about my friends on their nights out, I’m not jealous of their fun adventures, and most of all I made time to take care of myself. It takes some time and work, but I believe that this healthy balance is possible for everyone to achieve.